The first weekend of the 2016 NFL playoffs is officially in the books. Congrats to the Chiefs, Steelers, Seahawks, and Packers for making it to the Diviosnal Round. If you're a fan of the Texans, Bengals, Vikings, or Redskins, you have my sympathies.
But each game was delightful in its own, bizarre way. Here's your only definitive power ranking of this weekend's games by how weird they were.
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4. Chiefs 30, Texans 0
Playoff games are supposed to be competitive, right? Even if there is a talent disparity, the effort should at least be so great that the game is entertaining. Not so in this game. Brian Hoyer became the first quarterback since Eli Manning in 2005 to have at least five turnovers in a playoff game (Hoyer had four interceptions and a fumble). There was a kick return for a touchdown. Other than that, this one was pretty boring.
3. Packers 35, Redskins 18
This one started out strangely enough, with Washington scoring the first points of the game on a safety. For the first quarter, you could have easily convinced me that Aaron Rodgers and Kirk Cousins switched jerseys. Probably the weirdest thing about this game, however, was the fact that Green Bay's offense rose from the dead. For the last few weeks, plus the first quarter of this game, Green Bay seemed lost. Then, all of a sudden, without any explanation, Rodgers returned to MVP form and the running game returned. I don't know if Rodgers was just irked by all the "You like that?" rally towels, but until someone proves otherwise I'll stick with that explanation.
2. Seahawks 10, Vikings 9
Only one touchdown was scored by either team THE WHOLE GAME. Plus, the weather was terrible. When I say this game was freezing cold, I'm not exaggerating. It was -6 in Minneapolis, with a wind chill of -25. It was so cold that some fans shared pictures of their beers freezing solid when they hit the air. Russell Wilson converted the craziest botched-snap play I've ever seen. The Seahawks won when Vikings kicker Blair Walsh missed a field goal with less than 30 seconds left in the game. What's strange is that the kick was from shorter range than an extra point attempt would have been. By all accounts, Walsh missed a chip shot.
1. Steelers 18, Bengals 16
Oh man, this game. Pittsburgh led 15-0 heaig into the fourth quarter. Bengals fans threw garbage at Ben Roethlisberger as he was being carted off the field with an injury. Martavis Bryant made a ridiculous between-the-legs catch. Cincinnati took a 16-15 lead into the final minutes of the game, but penalties gave the Steelers the yards they needed to kick the winning field goal. Fights nearly broke out several times in the second half. Adam "Pacman" Jones, of the Bengals, went on a profanity-laced, anti-officials rant on Instagram after the game. This game was just so deliciously bizarre. If you didn't see it, you really missed out. Until next week, that is, when something else even more wild and unpredictable will invariably happen. Sports!
On a personal note, even though I am a Broncos fan, I felt the sting of defeat this weekend. My favorite non-Bronco personality was eliminated. I think there is no better way to memorialize him than to watch this for as long as humanly possible.
Yes, Kirk. I do like that.
