Her heart ran a lap around a field once entering the room of what was once filled with warmness and portraits of her kids and husband. She enters a place that she uses to lounge after work and laugh with loved ones for hours to see the man that she once loved, but all she sees is a liar now. He views her with such sorrow and embarrassment of what he has done. Looking down, his hands tremble and voice shakes after the horrific morning he has had. She keeps overanalyzing what had happened earlier that morning.
The thoughts of her being intimate with her own husband made her sweat and want to yell out to the world. She was angry yet saddened with disbelief. Is this real life or is this all just a dream? She thought back to earlier that day. Finding the piece of folded up crumpled paper in his leather briefcase as if he was trying to keep it away of my sight with the loving note on it.
Her heart sunk down to the bottom of her feet. She did not know whether to speak out her truth or just sit in silence with sorrow. She walked around her sanctuary with her thoughts going a million miles an hour. Can this be real? No, it definitely cannot be, he holds her when we go to sleep, they have two beautiful children, memories of a lifetime, he definitely would never do this.
Not to their humbled and life filled with joy and laughter which we call family. The ringing noise dials into her device, her hands shake and are wet from the frightening thought of this. She hears her voice and sweat comes down her eyes as she cannot even put into words as to what has happened. Her voice takes me to a place where she feels almost safe. She trusts her with her life, they share the same blood and have lifetime memories and she always looks for her to ask for advice.
She tells her I am safe that this does not mean her life is over, that she needs to walk up to him and tell him her thoughts that are lingering in her mind. She feels her body shake and her throat close up, she just wants to sleep forever and forget this ever happened. Once she stops hearing her voice in her device she flashes back to reality. What will she do once he arrives from how he provides from this family? Does she tell the children they raised her truth?
She goes in her four-wheeled mobile and races like she is a sports car driver to go rescue them. She holds on so tight she thought she might hurt them by accident. They look at her with confusion in their face as to why she is loving them so hard. They ask if everything is okay and she just looks the face of sadness in her rearview mirror and responds, "Yes, mommy is OK". Her throat closes up with the guilt of her not speaking her truth, but they are the only sane beings and what makes her home from having a horrific morning. She needs to keep them safe, she cannot speak her truth.
Once pulling in to the place that was once filled with laughter and portraits she sees the silver vehicle that was once filled with family trips, laughter, memories of bringing their first-born home, and warmth of what was once called a family. She knew it was either now or never. This is what is called "reality," her heart beats fast, she would have never thought in a million years that she would have to deal with what is called "this life" that she now lives. It is filled with lies and disrespect when she thought it was filled with truth, love, and respect. She walks onto the concrete ground that she has walked for the past 15 years with the same routine of picking up their babies. Except, this time her hands clench with my nails digging into her bare skin.
It comes from madness, sorrow, and nervousness she thought she'd never had to feel this. Her hands are shakings so much with sweat dripping down and she tries to open the doors of what was once a place that she uses to lounge after work and laugh with loved ones for hours to see the man that she once loved but all she sees is a liar now. He views her with such sorrow and embarrassment of what he has done. He can tell by her gleaming eyes that she knows, she knows that he has been lying, she knows what he has done. His face turns pale as the white clouds in the sky above what was once a sanctuary for them. His heart runs a lap around a field before she opens her soft lips.
He thinks back to when he first arrived at the place that was once filled with laughter and family portraits. As he opened his briefcase he forgot to bring to work because of the exhausting week he has been trying to provide for his family. He views that the loving note was not present where he had tried to hide it from the woman that he would die for. He panics as his heart starts to tremble and his face turned pale. This cannot be true, this life that he lives so comfortably I cannot be coming to an end. He cannot even man up to look at himself in the mirror, his stomach starts to twirl at the thought of what he has done to the people he would die for. He knows he should not have done it.
Will she say something to him or will she just keep quiet to protect what they have? He prays to the higher power that she did not find the paper that was filled with inappropriate loving sayings to a married man. He hears the door opening up downstairs, it is the people that he would die for walking into what was once a place filled with laughter and family portraits. He can tell the look on her gleaming eyes and angered face that she knows. She knows that he was not the man she thought he was. She knows that he is a liar and he knows that himself as well. They talk in a four-cornered room far away from the people they call their own. She confronts him with what she had found, a crumpled paper with a loving note to a married man in his briefcase. Was it worth it? She wonders.
Was it worth it? He wonders and realizes it was not worth losing the people that he would die for and the place that was once filled with laughter and family portraits. He grinds his teeth and madness with realizing he was the worst husband he could have ever possibly be. How could he let it get to this point? The point that there will be no hope for the future. He cries in sorrow with the hope that he will forgive her. There was no hope as he figured there wouldn't be, and it was over just like that. She stood tall and strong fighting back the sweat that would come down her eyes if she'd let it. It was over just like that. She knew she could not live a lie and show to the world a lie that was called her life.
He woke up uncomfortable the next day with pillows surrounding him to turn and not see his beloved wife. He was alone downstairs waking up to the beaming sun coming through the clear glass. He wakes up and remembers everything from the night before, this cannot be real life. She wakes up with the disbelief that this is it. After 15 years of dedicating her life to someone she would have died for and currently still would to all come crashing down into a mess as what is now. She feels as though it has all been a lie this whole time.
How could he? She knows she needs to end it because this is not what she deserves. This is not what her sister would want for her, she told her that she must end it yesterday when she was on her phone. It is hard to get up from being spread out onto a mattress of what was once filled with love and the feeling of being safe. She forced herself to get up. The cold wetness splashed onto her face and she washed away what was mascara on her cheeks from the sleepless night she had. Her feet ran down the steps and looked at the liar in his face. They both knew this was it. They rode the silver vehicle that was once filled with family trips, laughter, memories of bringing their first-born home, and warmth of what once called a family. They both arrived at the cold architecturally beautiful building to sign on a white piece of paper.
And just like that, the 15 years of lifelong memories were over.
