It is no secret that the era of finding the perfect fitting partner is long over. With so many obstacles now, the art of finding your soulmate feels like an Olympic-level game. I feel like many young, single people get a lecture for having "too high" standards. However, what kind of advice is that?
First of all, there is nothing wrong with being single. Having a significant other and finding your soulmate is awesome, but living life solo is just as awesome. If you're single and you're told that your standards are too high by someone, I urge you not to listen to them.
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I like to consider myself a hard-worker. I have always been academically motivated, ambitious towards my career, and hard on myself to do better. I have always been driven by myself, so when I look for a partner,I expect the same.
I mean, if your standards are Leonardo Dicaprio or nothing, that's a little unrealistic. However, if you have high standards, what's wrong with wanting the best for yourself? We work so hard on our personal brands, shaping who we are, determining what we value, and finding our own sense of style, so why shouldn't you want a partner on a similar level?
I don't see anything wrong with wanting someone who I hold to the same standards that I hold myself to.If I think that I am at a particular standard, I want someone who is also there because that's compatibility for me.
So, when other people tell single people that they should consider lowering their standards in order to find somebody, it makes my blood boil. Basically, I take that advice as, "You should settle." Why would you ever want to settle?
Even hearing the word "settle" is probably making you uncomfortable. It's because it is. Settling is cheating yourself. You don't deserve that. You deserve someone who fits your standards. You have standards for yourself, so it's OK to have standards for other people. You are not shallow for wanting what's best for you. You are confident and self-aware. Kudos.
In my past experiences, settling almost always feels like settling. For me, I always think that I can change the person. I can motivate them to be better and I can somehow "fix" them. Well, you can't fix anyone. People are who they are and it's not your job to fix someone. It's impossible. Motivation and wanting to better yourself comes from no one but you. So, find someone who doesn't need fixing.
A lot of the time, I feel like people end up settling out of the fear of ending up alone. I've been there and I get it. One day, you're just watching Netflix in bed and you start to wonder if you will be doing this alone forever. That's just a mood and that is no reason to rush into something that isn't right for you. I would much rather be alone and happy with myself and where I am at than to try to force something with someone who I know isn't right for me, just for the sake of being in a relationship. There is literally no way that you will end up alone forever or, my favorite, "die alone" because there are literally aroundseven billion people on this planet. You will find your soulmate. Relax, there is no rush. Relationships with the right person can be amazing, so it's OK to wait a little longer to find someone who is worth it.
