In Western Culture, it is generally frowned upon by most people to hit your kids; but, why is it okay to ‘just’ spank them?

According to a recent ABC News poll of 1,015 adults, “sixty-five percent of Americans approve of spanking children”. This number has been pretty standard since 1990. Out of all the participants with children that are still minors, “50 percent report that they sometimes spank their child, while 45 percent do not”. These numbers are pretty troubling considering all the negative effects spanking has on a child's mental and physical health.

So, what are the negative effects? A seven year long study was done by Tulane University from 1998-2005 of 2,461 respondents to find the link between the use of corporal punishment on 3-year-olds and the aggressive behavior observed among them. The use of corporal punishment against a child at age three more than twice a month led to an “increased risk for higher levels of child aggression when the child was five years of age” even when taking other factors into account. Among the aggressive behaviors observed were “arguing or screaming; cruelty, bullying or meanness to others; destroys things; fighting and frequently threatening others”. Other effects from corporal punishment were “mood disorders, anxiety disorders, substance abuse/dependence, and personality disorder.” None of these problems are ones loving parents intentionally want to give their children, right?

What are parents getting out of spanking their kids? A false sense of good parenting? Why do they think it is okay to hurt their child, especially one too young to understand what they are doing is wrong? I don't understand how someone who is tasked with raising and caring for this growing person, who places all their love and trust in their parents by the way, can then go and raise a hand to their child. Are they not concerned with the resentment the child might feel towards them as they grow up? I mean how can a loving, respectful, healthy, relationship grow between a parent and child when one is hitting the other instead of talking, listening, or teaching them how to act. Just think about how adults feel after someone hits them? It’s always better to use words over violence. I’ve talked to people who were spanked or even worse growing up, and when they talk about it they mostly say something along the lines of “it made me who I am” or it “set me straight” but none of their justifications ever sat right with me. Now that I’m older I’ve had a horrifying realization. These were victims. Victims of abuse tend to blame themselves for the abuse and it can even carry over well into their adult lives as described by author Beverly Engel in her book “It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion”.

With all the negative effects of spanking and using other forms of corporal punishment on children you may wonder if this is still even legal. In many countries it is not. The United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child called for physical punishment to be stopped as it is “legalized violence against children”. While 192 countries supported their treaty banning it, two countries didn't- Somalia and the US. Surprisingly, corporal punishment is still allowed in schools in nineteen states! This includes Alabama! In fact, corporal punishment affected about 163,000 school children during the 2011-2012 school year.

So why are parents still spanking their kids? Using any form of corporal punishment on children is dangerous as this can escalate into full on physical abuse if just the spanking is proving not to work (as it often doesn't because it is an ineffective form of punishment). Spanking seems to be done by overwhelmed and stressed out parents who feel it is their only and/or most effective option for discipline. As the previously mentioned studies show, spanking has too many negative effects to be considered a humane and appropriate form of punishment for children-especially younger ones. The rational thing for these parents to do would be to research other methods of discipline for children instead of resorting to violence against people much younger and weaker than themselves.