Why You Shouldn't Move To Canada (from a Canadian) | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics

Why You Shouldn't Move To Canada (from a Canadian)

#keepcanadagreatplease

260
Why You Shouldn't Move To Canada (from a Canadian)
LiveJournal

Disclaimer: My dad was born in Mississauga, I was born in Texas. For the purposes of this article, close enough.

So, it actually happened. A man with no political experience has become the president of the United States, the leader of the free world, the most powerful person on the face of the Earth they say. And now you're wondering what to do now. Well hey, don't say I didn't warn you.

As I'm sure you've heard, plenty of people are looking to move to Canada, a country I consider to be my homeland considering our mutual love of hockey, beer, and frankly, nice people. But now Donald Trump is actually president, and as a Canadian, I have to tell you it's a bad idea.


See! Look at this, people of multiple races actually enjoying each other's company as if they aren't so different after all. Clearly based on a good chunk of your voting, and your reactions, you wouldn't want something like that, would you?

And look at this:

A country where the drinking age is 18? Pshhhh, of course you don't want that. You guys have certain cities that don't even allow for a happy hour. If you can't deal with that, surely you wouldn't want young adults to actually be treated like actual adults right?

National sport? Well, ice hockey of course:Now, I was going to say football and hockey are similar, until I remembered that our sport has action ALL the time, rather than just 11 minutes worth. You wouldn't want something that constantly was taking up your attention and time, hell, 48% of you couldn't even get up and vote! If I were going to sell you though, seeing as you do clearly have some moral capacity since NFL ratings are down, it'd probably start and end with this:

And for the few miscreants we do have, we actually punish them.


We're also just nice people for one, evidenced by our health care system. We have one that, you know, actually lets every Canadian receive basic treatment. There are various benefits and flaws related to this, but seeing how 85% of us align it with our national identity, I'd say it's going pretty well. But the American government is still so much better though, we're just a bunch of socialists, heh, us and our equal treatment, and equal pay. It's not like any of you wanted someone who embodied those principles to lead your country anyways.

Anyways, I could go on and on about why you Americans shouldn't want to move to this clearly awful backwards country that even it's own citizens don't like (the US is 15th just for reference). But that'd be pointless, it's not like you guys even want to come here or anything. There's no way you guys would want to leave 'The Greatest Country in The World' right? You guys have the American Dream, where everyone who works hard can be whoever they wants to be right?

Anyways, I'm done now, sorry to disturb you, eh. Have a nice day, and you weren't actually going to anyways, but please don't come here.

#keepcanadagreatplease

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
an image of taylor swift standing center stage surrounded by her backup dancers in elegant peacock esque outfits with a backdrop of clouds and a box rising above the stage the image captures the vibrant aesthetics and energy of her performance during the lover era of her eras tour
StableDiffusion

A three-and-a-half-hour runtime. Nine Eras. Eleven outfit changes. Three surprise songs. Zero breaks. One unforgettable evening. In the past century, no other performer has put on an electric performance quite like Taylor Swift, surpassing her fans ‘wildest dreams’. It is the reason supporters keep coming back to her shows each year. Days later, I’m still in awe of the spectacle ‘Miss Americana’ puts on every few days in a new city. And, like one of Taylor’s exes, has me smiling as I reminisce about the memories of the night we spent together.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

79300
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

8094
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments