With it being the climax of cuffing season, sometimes us single folk find ourselves missing past flames. If that's the case, it's best to remind ourselves why those relationships ended in the first place, and what we can learn from them rather than reigniting them. And if that isn't convincing enough, here's some words of encouragement and reason to move on and forward.
You May Just Be Lonely
When Facebook and Instagram is plagued with photos of your friends and their significant others, it can be hard to look at while you sit at home with your cat and Netflix. But remember, you chose 'Netflix and chill.' You could instead be out with friends or working on a new hobby. Sometimes keeping yourself busy is the answer to stop you from feeling alone.
Recommended for you
The Trust has Been Broken
Once a break up happens, both parties tend to be mutually hurt. Healing takes it's own time for both people, sometimes longer in their case than it may have been for you. So, in reality, getting back with your ex may prove more work than meeting someone new. You have to work out the trust that was lost with the initial relationship split, and that tends to be a step backwards than forward.
You Have to Rationalize Unwanted Characteristics
At around the end of the relationship, you weren't feeling the way you feel now. Right now you may be trying to rationalize those pesky pet peeves or undesired baggage that the person had, just to give yourself an excuse to go back to them. But remind yourself why you broke up in the first place. It's good to not let yourself sacrifice how you feel about certain aspects that make you and a person incompatible. So be honest with yourself. That way you will avoid an unhappy reunion and the dreaded feeling of being obligated to the person now that you've tried resuming a broken relationship.
The Same Issues Exist
Again, there was a reason why you broke up, whether or not it's admitted, and most likely, those issues are still there. People change, but all at there own pace, and even so, those problems will most likely resurface since they were there during the initial relationship.
The Honey Moon Phase is Never Coming Back
It won't be all sunshine and roses. There won't be running through fields of happiness with care free skies. So those first few weeks, months or years that you had with that person prior to the relationship going sour, isn't going to be what it's like when you return to them. That only comes with the excitement of meeting someone new and having experiences that you haven't had with them before. If you are in search of that but need it fast for cuffing season, try going out with some single friends, speed dating, or an app like Tinder. The resources are definitely there so it shouldn't be hard to meet new potential love interests.
You Likely Aren't the Same Person
Who knows how long ago it was since you (or him/her) called it quits, but you likely aren't the same person.
Not only did the break up probably change you, but the time that you have now spent single, maybe going on various dates, expanding your friend group, etc... your emotional levels won't be the same going back into it, making you even less compatible than before. It's best to move on and bite the bullet; take a blind date or busy yourself with trying new things, working, etc. Cuffing season shouldn't be the death of your social career. It's definitely not the death of your love life. There are plenty of opportunities and good things take time. So do some soul searching first and enjoy life as it is now before jumping back into the game if you need to.
