Why are you still single, again? This has been a question asked to many, and not just by our grandmas. There seems to be a growing pressure in today’s culture and society to always be in a relationship. Everyone now seems to think that something is wrong with themselves if they are not in a relationship. Well, I am writing today to call hogwash on the whole shebang. We, as a society, need to stop falling in love with love and fall in love with a person–one that we didn’t settle for, at that.

For me, personally, I did not date in high school. The reason I did not date was not because I did not have any offers or couldn’t find a guy that was nice enough. The reason was because I chose not to. Now, I am not saying that you can’t find “the one” in high school, or that you can’t achieve anything if you are in a relationship. That is not it at all. I’m saying for that some, especially in today’s society, taking time to be single has benefits.

What are some of those benefits, you ask? Here you go:

1. I had time to figure out myself.

During my time as a single person I had time to figure out my likes, dislikes, passions, beliefs and basically, who I was as a person. I did not have any person I was trying to change for or please during this time. This helped me immensely, especially during my high school years when everyone is basically a confused ball of hormones and already having a hard enough time figuring out who they are and what they will become.

2. I made goals.

As a single person, I figured out where I wanted to be and what I wanted to achieve in life. I did not make decisions based on another person. I went into a college that I chose by myself, knowing what I wanted to accomplish and what I wanted to do with my life, all because I used that time of singleness to make those hard decisions.

3. I found my worth.

While being single, it was a huge struggle for me to not question my worth, especially in a world that claims that you’re not good enough if you are single. But despite society, I found my worth. I found that I am loved wildly by a man already, who even laid down His life for me. If that doesn’t tell you that you are worth something (because that same man [Jesus] did it for you too), then I don’t know what will. The worth I found in God is something that isn’t just going to go away or that rests on the shoulders of the guy I am dating. It stays with me as a part of who I am. Guys can’t complete us or meet our needs, but God can complete even the most broken. Stop searching.

4. I learned what I really wanted in a person.

While single, I observed a lot. I saw what a bad relationship looked like and the toll it took on the people involved. I saw heartbreak. I also saw happy relationships and how those involved built each other up and loved each other. I learned a lot while observing, especially while being completely removed from a relationship. I learned what I wanted in a person and what was really important to make a relationship work. I also learned not to settle.

5. I guarded my heart for someone worthy.

This is what I would consider the best benefit. During my time of singleness, I did not give little pieces of my heart away to those who did not deserve it or would break it. I waited. It is so incredibly comforting to know that I didn’t waste my heart and time on someone who wasn’t worthy or would abuse it, and now I can give it to someone who will value it and continue to guard it. When I did finally find a guy that was worthy and that I am actually currently dating, we set guidelines and boundaries that we have used all throughout our relationship to guard both of our hearts. This has been incredibly helpful throughout our relationship. Also, because I didn’t date anyone else, there haven’t been any awkward run-ins with exes or past regrets and it has made our relationship so much easier. Being picky pays off.

If you’re single, take the time to look around you and learn. Take time for yourself and to figure out who you are and what you want to do. Don’t listen to the world. You do you and when you meet someone worth your time and heart, it’ll be worth the wait.