Recently, I read this article, that claimed that "Beliefs are beliefs and everyone is entitled to their opinion," but then proceeded to attack a movement that is near and dear to my heart without probable cause. The arguments that were made were not entirely correct, and were generalizations about a movement that is much more than "burn your bra" or "Free the Nipple". This is my response as someone who is a feminist, and doesn't understand why you are "so over" my ideals.
"My inspiration actually came from a man (God forbid, a man has ideas these days)"
The first quote I would like to address is this one. The definition of feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. Therefore as a feminist, I believe that a man can have just as good of ideas as a woman, and I also believe that the author is alluding to another type of belief. Misandry: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men. As one can see the difference in definitions, they are mistaking one for another.
"First of all, we are in the 21st century. Women have never been more respected. Women have more rights in the United States than anywhere else in the world."
While I agree with you on this point, feminism- intersectional feminism that is- is not just an American movement. Tenants under the Feminist Movement include ending sex trafficking, child marriage, girl babies being killed because they were simply born female, not being able to get the education they need due to their periods, or simply having to raise their own families at the age of 14. The United States also has very few opportunities for LGBTQ+ women, especially trans women and trans women of color. Trans women are killed every single day, and most have to resort to sex work because they aren't hired because of their gender. Lesbian women, especially with the incoming administration, wonder if one day they will wake up and their marriage will be void, or the teenager questioning their sexuality will have to stay quiet because of Mike Pence and his belief in conversion therapy. So as a white straight woman, you do live in a society where you have more rights, but there are many more women than just people like you here in America that do not.
"Whatever happened to chivalry? Why is it so “old fashioned” to allow a man to do the dirty work or pay for meals? Feminists claim that this is a sign of disrespect, yet when a man offers to pick up the check or help fix a flat tire (aka being a gentleman), they become offended."
I can assure you this is not a claim of any true feminist- maybe a white feminist (see also What I Mean When I Say White Feminism) or a second wave feminist (see this college's explanation of all 4 waves)- but I for one LOVE men, and love men even more when they are chivalrous. My boyfriend opens doors for me and pays for some of my meals; he would probably change my tire if I couldn't ask my dad to help me, and guess what? I am NEVER offended. This comes from a misconception about feminism in which people demonize us and say that we won't take anything nice from a man. Inversely, I do insist on paying for his meals sometimes, or I'll leave the tip, but I would do that with a girlfriend or a guy friend who I'm not dating. Again, feminism is about equality. There's nothing wrong with asking someone stronger than you for help, but you could also ask for them to teach you! It is important to not be dependent, but you can always have someone to depend on, whether that be a man or a woman.
"The male body is meant to endure more physically while the female is more delicate. So, quite frankly, at a certain point in life, there needs to be restrictions on integrating the two."
Men and women do have different builds: women are often shorter, weigh less, and have less muscle mass. This makes us less apt to be playing high contact sports like football, boys lacrosse or rugby. We are not, in fact, more delicate than men. We are made of the same skin, the same bones, the same muscles; we are made out of all the same things that men are. That is also science. So I am not saying that I want women playing in the NFL and being tackled by a 220-pound linebacker, but if women want to play a certain sport, they should work to create a women's league of it, not simply back down because "their bodies are too delicate."
"So, let’s stop blaming men and society about how we continue to “struggle” and praise the female gender for working hard to make a mark on today’s workforce. We’re doing a kick-ass job, let’s stop the complaining."
If anyone reading this article is not aware, the average white woman makes 79 cents to every man's dollar, while women of color earn more to the tune of 54 cents or 64 cents to every man's dollar. The problem with this is that despite the "history" of women in the workforce and perceived progress since then, there is still a wage gap, and it's still unfair. Women all over the country are single parents, pay for all of their child's expenses, and take care of themselves. One of my good friend's mother had her first child at 14 in a country where she had to marry the man who impregnated her. She moved to the United States to provide a better life for her family. My friend gets up at 3 a.m. before school to help her mother clean offices, but I'm sure they are paid just above living wages. She will be the first person in her family to finish high school, to earn a 3.7 GPA while also working, and to have been accepted to college. I want more stories like that, but I want her brothers to have had the same opportunity, for them to have been able to finish high school instead of dropping out to work so that they could provide for their little sister. If her mother had been making better wages, they could have. So while we white women are out here doing a "kick-ass job", I'm not going to stop "complaining" (I'd prefer the term advocating) for them, because that's what I'm called to do.
"It’s a lot of give and take. We don’t have to pretend we don’t need our men every once in a while. It’s OK to be vulnerable. Men and women are meant to complement one another—not to be equal or to over-power. The genders are meant to balance each other out. There’s nothing wrong with it."
The world is a lot of give and take, we know that as feminists. It is okay to be vulnerable, just like it’s okay to be independent. Feminism is not a cry for being perpetually guarded; we are not made of stone. Feminism is merely a call for women to stand up for themselves and not to be taken as vulnerable in the wrong situation Yes, men and women are meant to complement each other, but the statement is starkly wrong on one issue. In the Constitution of the United States, the phrase "All men are created equal" still stands. I believe that applies to women as well. Men and women are equals, just because my genitalia is different from my brother's or my boyfriend's does not mean that I should be treated with any less respect, dignity, or purpose. Complements can be equal while being different.
Feminism is not just riot grrrls and Taylor Swift. Feminism is not shaving your head and not shaving anywhere else. Feminism is not boycotting men or burning your bra. Feminism is not throwing all of your female tendencies out the window. Feminism is not what the article I'm responding to makes it out to be.
Feminism is about equality. It's about equal pay, but it's also about ending the oppression of women in other countries. It's about ending rape culture and putting a face to the sexual assault that happens every day. Feminism is about the LGBTQ+ community, people of color, and ending the systemic oppression that they still face. It's about not letting our little boys think that they are weak if they show emotion, it's about erasing double standards about sex. Feminism is about the right to choose and bringing down the costs of women’s birth control. It's about proving that just because I like pink and wear a skirt does not mean I can't be just as powerful as any man.
