Singles everywhere are often asked the magical question, when are you going to get married?" As if they haven't already asked themselves that question every single day of their lives. Many of us flood our minds with thoughts like: "Will we ever get married?", "When will we meet the one?", "What if we never meet the one?". People everywhere often feel this pressure, a pressure they put on themselves, and on occasion receive from others. A pressure we would often like to avoid, particularly from our friends and loved ones. So what if there was a quick and easy solution, a marriage to someone you know so well, so well that, that person was actually you?
Sologamy is the idea of marrying oneself, saying to the world and all your family and friends that you are perfectly happy with you, so happy you actually married yourself. Now I know what some of you may be thinking, this is completely absurd, selfish, and maybe even stupid. And while in some ways that might be true, and very few people are actually marrying themselves, the idea that comes from Sologamy is an idea we should all adopt.
The idea is that you are content with who you are, happy to be yourself, and not "needing" a man or a woman to feel complete. How crazy would it be if singles were happy to be single? Now that is not to say that a relationship or a marriage is off the table, but rather not an obsession or a need. We all hope for those things, but what if while we waited we were just happy with us?
It's not like we don't already think of ourselves twenty-four seven, but what if we made a vow to ourselves to love who we are, and be happy with who that person is? Saying to ourselves, I choose you, I choose to be true to who I am, rather than trying to be someone I am not. Promising to love ourselves, and strive to be the best we can be. Vowing to respect and honor who we are and who we want to be, in sickness and in health, from that day on, and forevermore.
Rather than seeing this as a selfish, self-motivated idea, and rather than hearing "loving ourselves," as saying we love ourselves more than others, we can think of it as mere acceptance. Accepting all of our flaws, any disability, any size, and saying "this is me, and I'm okay with that." This is not to disregard others, but rather to be content with oneself so as to inspire and better help others. Too often we drag our baggage, shame, and complications onto others when there is another option. What if instead, we learned to work on them?
If marrying yourself means being happy with who you are, accepting all your flaws, loving who you are, being content, and not trying to be someone else, then I'd say, where do I sign up?
We should all strive to be content in this way so that whether that leads to an eventual relationship or marriage, we can have our own identities and then be able to share that identity with someone else rather than finding it in that other person. So here's to Sologamy, may we all be happy with who we are, and accept who we are from this day on and forevermore.
