You are a liar. Me too. We all are. But it goes a lot deeper than dipping out of work 15 minutes early. It is painful to ourselves, our egos, to admit that we are wrong about something or even a bad person, especially if we have believed this lie for years. The ego is ultimately there to serve us but the issue is that our unconcious is running on beliefs that though were once true...no longer serve us. So what to do? If you can't beat it, join it. In fact ratchet it up to eleven. Lie more. There are loads of benefits to lying to yourself. Let's explore how to make your false stories work for you.
Whether you like to admit it the Placebo effect is running your life. A placebo is "beneficial a treatment or drug that cannot be attributed to the properties of the placebo itself, and must therefore be due to the patient's belief in that treatment."(WebMD) Most people know of the placebo effect or have at least heard of it, but just take a second to realize how mind blowing this is.
Your belief that something is working makes it work.
This means your perceptions change your physical biology. Your thoughts physically effect your cells. It makes sense though. If you're a fella and you think of someone you're attracted to you get all boned up. If you think about your favorite meal and really picture it your mouth will start to salivate. These are thoughts that are stimulating a physical response in the body. Now where it gets real interesting is its opposite. There is a little known flip side to the placebo called the Nocebo effect. This is the negative effect that is not caused by the treatment itself but rather due to the patients belief that the treatment will not work. This isn't just sugar pills. This is everything in your life.
"I can't loose that last 15 lbs."...yupp
"I'll never make money doing what I love."....you're right
"I'll always be alone."...you will
"Dieting is torture!"..100%
Your spot on in these beliefs and you will act in the real world to prove they are true. The problem is there are people who don't have these beliefs. If its not true for them, why is it true for you?
Your belief that something is not working will make it not work.
Your belief is true because at some point it helped you to believe it. Most beliefs are formed prior to age 8. When you were a tot, some authority figure(parent, teacher, preacher) set up the framework for your entire life...and you have been running that programming ever since. If you think life is hard, you are right, except it's not hard for everyone. If you think you can't make money doing what you enjoy you will act in the real world in ways to support this belief (i.e. taking a soul crushing job)
If a parental figure you trusted told you, either explicitly or thru their actions, that you have to choose between doing what you love and making money, as a kid, you will almost always choose to believe them. It is too painful to admit that your parents are lying to you or don't have your best interest at heart when you are still a child. Though this belief may be true for them and is backed up by their real world experiences it does not have to be true for you. But you carry this belief, that is not yours, thru your entire life.
In a thought experiment...try the opposite. "I can be successful doing what I love." Notice any resistance that comes up when you say it...odds are..quite a bit. If it is true that "I can be successful doing what I love" then why did my parents tell me the opposite? Even now you choose to continue to believe that you can't make money loving your job because if you admit that your parents were wrong you also have to admit that the last 20+ yrs of your life could have been a whole lot different You could have been doing exactly what you love but...
You cannot thrive in a job you love because you have to prove that your parents loved you.
This may seem like a stretch but hear me out. If you do thrive in a job you love, you are prooving your parents were wrong. If they were wrong...why did they tell you that you can't love your job and be successful? The answer is either they did not know any better(operating on their parents beliefs) or that they actually do not want to see you succeed(i.e don't love you). That is a can of worms your mind does not want to open up. The latter is too tough to admit. If your parents did not have your best interest at heart than what else in your world do you believe that is not true? Deep in your subconcious you had to trust that your caretakers were looking out for you, so you have to believe what they do. Now this isn't just parents, its all authority figures from our childhood that molded our beliefs. But please note that beliefs are arbitrary. They are tools. They can either help you get what you want or prevent you from getting it. Even if your new belief if not currently supported by tangible experiences, i.e. a lie, in my experience it's a better way to go thru life believing the lies you want rather than the ones given to you.
Pick the beliefs of whoever it is you want to emulate and look for experiences in the real world that back those up. Slowly your lies will become your truth, backed by real world experiences. Why not choose thoughts or beliefs that serve you? Now it will not be easy(belief). It's going to feel like you're lying to yourself because...you are.
-Dylan
