We all know her. The girl everyone loved to hate during grade school. She probably made a name for herself by appearing to never care what people said about her. Maybe she bullied you in particular, saying you couldn’t sit with her in middle school, or making sure you never went to the same parties in high school. Odds are she was smart and athletic, or absolutely beautiful, and you hated her for it. If no one comes to mind when you think of the mean girl, then it was probably you, and I feel your pain.
No one likes the mean girl. Plain and simple. Sure, she had friends but only because they had been her friends for so long that they felt obligated to stick by her side. Plus, by high school she probably knew enough of their secrets to scare them into staying her friends. Either way, being the girl everyone loves to talk about is potentially the worst way to go through school. I know you’re probably saying she asked for it, and it’s her fault for making that name for herself, but I can guarantee you she would have done anything to change it.
Being the mean girl isn’t all it’s cracked up to be (thank you, Lindsay Lohan, for making our pain seem so desirable). Mean girls aren’t super popular, they just think they are because everyone knows their name -- but for the wrong reasons. People don’t worship at your feet, or talk about you because they’re jealous. It’s actually the complete opposite. People don’t talk to you, because they don’t want to. Bullying isn’t cool anymore -- not that it ever was. Being nice is cool, being happy is cool and you can’t be happy when you’re constantly insulting people for no reason.
However, every mean girl eventually reaches her breaking point. The point at which she realizes that she doesn’t even like herself anymore. When this happens she does everything in her power to turn over a new leaf and become one of the “nice girls”. The girl everyone wants to be friends with, because she radiates sunshine and never stops laughing. And so it happens; all of a sudden the mean girl becomes the girl who accepts everyone and is always willing to listen to your problems, because she finally understands what it is like to be outcasted. She finally admits to herself that she is not the person she wants to be. Of course, it isn’t that easy. All of the horrible things she said and did aren’t just forgotten; years of bad karma don’t just go away in the blink of an eye.
It takes time to change from the mean girl to the nice girl, and I understand that. I respect that.
But it shouldn’t take forever.
People really do change and though it’s hard to forget the past, sometimes you need to. Sometimes you need to bite the bullet and forgive people for the things they have said and done. It’s not fair to constantly remind someone of the person they were when they are trying so hard to become a better version of themselves. Giving people a second chance is like granting them the ability to start over, to reinvent themselves, to be happy after years of hiding behind their fear. You don’t need to be best friends with the girl who used to pick on you, but then again, if you don’t accept her are you really any better? So give the mean girl a second chance -- she might surprise you.
