We live in a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, putting ourselves down and aspiring to be different when we do not feel good enough. It is second-nature to critique our own life situation in reference to what we see in our friends, siblings, colleagues, classmates, and images portrayed in media and push ourselves to be more like them if we perceive them to be at a higher standard or better off. It is a good thing when you have a positive, influential person to look up to or to be inspired by, however, when you start fixating over what someone else has and set unrealistic expectations for yourself, the comparison takes an unhealthy turn.

It is common to admire another person’s actions and conclude that you should do better or try harder in order to be like them. Yet, we have all had those gloomy, wishful thoughts arise when we compare ourselves to others:

“I wish I were as pretty...”

“I wish were as smart...”

“I wish I had that job...”

“I wish I had that much money...”

“I wish I had that many friends...”

Thoughts such as these will only lead to disappointment if you do not obtain what it is you are longing for, or will only create a continuous strain if you are always trying to live up to an ideal. That being said, constantly comparing yourself to others only distracts from your self-worth and confidence in who you are. Everyone has their own unique set of strengths and weaknesses; the reality is that nobody, absolutely nobody has the perfect life no matter how much it may seem so. What may seem like perfection from an external perspective has its own internal flaws and insecurities, so it is important to realize that obsessing over what others have in comparison to yourself is really not worth it.

It can be difficult to avoid making such comparisons, however, it is important to recognize when those thoughts are more toxic than constructive--being mindful and not allowing unnecessary correlations to dictate your emotions is essential for maintaining your mental health. That being said, having the desire to be different or improve upon your weaknesses can be a good thing, as long as your motivations are ultimately implemented for your own well being and not simply to meet the standards of others. Speaking from a personal experience, I have learned that focusing less on how my life measures up to others and focusing more on what I can do to lead a more joyous life while staying true to myself is liberating. It would not be accurate to say that it is always easy to refrain from falling into the habit of comparing, however, it is genuinely more satisfying to come to terms your imperfections and embrace the exceptional qualities that you do hold.