I’ll admit it; I am a people pleaser. I apologize for everything and anything, over-using “I’m sorry,” to the point where it no longer has any meaning. It’s a habit, developed from my fear of being an inconvenience. And I noticed that I’m not the only one. I hear it in my classes, all over campus, and even with my friends. So why do our feelings, opinions, and questions now come with a disclaimer? “I’m sorry but…” “I’m sorry, I just…” “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to….” And my personal favorite, “I’m sorry that I keep saying sorry.”
Sorry, but… this ends now. Truth is, the excessive apologizes are doing us more harm than good. You’re taking validity away from your feelings, oppressing your opinions, and putting yourself down in the process. You are not an inconvenient, and anyone that tries to tell you otherwise, is the real inconvenience.
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With the apologies set on repeat, we often don’t realize what we’re actually saying. “I’m sorry,” is a phrase that implies regret. So when it’s your go to before you say anything, your basically saying “I regret what’s about to come out of my mouth.” But what have you actually done wrong? Nothing. What do you gain by doing this? Absolutely nothing. Your words are valid and do not need a safety net.
I’m not saying you should be an unsympathetic asshole, because there is a time and a place for apologizes. However, with “I’m sorry” becoming a broken record phrase, it sounds less sincere each time we use it. Try, “It won’t happen again,” or “How can I fix this?” Because these come off 10 times more genuine, and imply that you actually care.
Still feeling the need to constantly apologize for your actions? Try replacing it with positive statements; “Thank you for listening,” “I appreciate your patience,” and “Thanks for understanding.” This is a much healthier way to keep your people-pleaser attitude, while not jeopardizing your self-worth. And you won’t ever feel annoying, or find “I’m sorry I keep saying I’m sorry,” slipping out of your mouth.
Unapologetically be yourself, and watch how significantly your life and relationships will improve. It’s time to start standing up for your words, because they are just as important as anyone else's words. And if you find that the people in your life are constantly making you feel like you need to apologize for every little thing... you are not the problem. Say sorry, not sorry and find the people who will encourage your weirdest opinions, stupidest questions, and rawest feelings. Just in case you need to hear this again, as I often do, you do not need to apologize for simply being alive.
