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Why You Need A Schmidt In Your Life

"Damp towel, damp! It's like a really big wet nap. I fell like I'm being licked by a golden retriever." - Schmidt

Chelsea Newman

Oct 26, 2016

Riverside, Jacksonville Florida

nymag.com/

If you are a fan of “New Girl”, then you know all about Schmidt and his “douchebag jar”. Most people tend to have a love-hate relationship with him, but the truth is – every person needs a Schmidt in their life. He is truly the best of both worlds, the douchebag one minuet and then your best friend the next. Overall your Schmidt will be there for you in the end and has your back no matter what. Why is Schmidt the best you ask? Here’s why…

1. His Honesty

You need a friend who loves you enough to be brutally honest with you. No matter what the situation is or when it happens, you need his honesty. Why do you need it? Because deep down you know that your friend has your best interest in mind. He is only there to be the true voice of reason in a dire situation.

2. He Is Eye Candy

Let’s be honest, every girl needs a guy by her side to make her look good that she is not in a relationship with. Schmidt is devilishly handsome and he knows it. So what if he rubs it in your face a bit? Can you blame him?

3. Neat Freak

Basically your Schmidt will be the cleanest person you know. His OCD tendencies might be just the thing you need in life. Let's face it, he knows how to scrub down. Not only does he love to look good, but that quality spills over into his home, making him an instant maid and interior decorator.

4. Go-to Guy

No matter what you are dealing with, your Schmidt is there for you. If you need someone to have you back during a girl fight - he is there. If you need someone to ugly cry to - no worries he is there. Schmidt is an all around great guy and more than likely the best guy friend that you will ever have.

5. P.I.C

When you need someone to simply have fun with, Schmidt is your guy. He is your partner in crime. He is going to be the most adventurous guy friend that you will ever have. He may question you and your actions at first, but a true Schmidt, does't wait very long to join in on the fun. At times he may even come at you with a brilliant and crazy idea.

At the end of the day - it's simple. Make sure you have a Schmidt in your life!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Why You Need A Schmidt In Your Life

"Damp towel, damp! It's like a really big wet nap. I fell like I'm being licked by a golden retriever." - Schmidt

1. His Honesty

2. He Is Eye Candy

3. Neat Freak

4. Go-to Guy

5. P.I.C

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Cs get degrees!

1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

8. It’s totally acceptable to bring a pot of coffee, a sleeping bag and a pillow to the library.

9. Having class with a friend is the best because you can trade off days on who goes to class.

10. When you are a senior, you take the easiest classes to boost your GPA.

11. How to pull an all-nighter.

12. How to handle drunk people.

13. The drunk you does not look out for sober you about 90 percent of the time.

14. How to deal with a hangover.

15. How to interact with people very different from you.

16. The perfect amount to procrastinate on every assignment.

17. How to pass a class without paying for the textbook that was "required."

18. How to calculate your grades to see what you need on every test in order to maintain a passing grade.

19. How to hook-up with someone without getting emotions involved (but we all know that doesn’t happen).

20. How to handle your roommate when you want to strangle them.

21. That you miss your parent’s every day.

22. How to get into a bar when you aren’t 21.

23. How to BS on assignments, out loud and on your resume.

24. That theme parties are the greatest.

25. How to find free events that have free food.

26. That when there are puppies on campus it will be the greatest day of your life.

27. Alarms are necessary and you must set like seven of them in order to wake up in time for class.

28. Greek parties are exactly how they are in movies.

29. Care packages are treated like Christmas presents.

30. The friends you meet in college will become your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

31. That printers only break when you need them the most.

32. Cereal, ramen noodles, Easy Mac and microwavable pancakes can be used for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. That classes before 8 a.m. should be illegal.

34. Changing your major is OK.

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

"You should know exactly what career is right for your future by the time you're 18."

"Save all your money."

"Get plenty of sleep and adjust to a regular sleep schedule."

"Make sure to eat healthy, balanced meals. Don't forget those fruits and vegetables."

"Surround yourself with good, moral people."

"Don't do anything stupid."

Seriously, who wouldn't love pizza?

Pizza is like a BFF

It can be delivered right to your door!

You can eat it at any time of the day

It's there for you after a breakup

It's the best party food

Celebrities love it too

Everyone loves it!

Pizza doesn't care what you look like

It comes in all forms

It's the food that is always free at events

It's always available

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