I had a very interesting conversation with my sister-in-law on June 29, 2016. I woke up and went to work, then was informed that today is Heterosexual Pride Day. What happened next is a lot, but I'm not going to focus on that for long. I was hurt, I felt defeated, I felt like nothing. There's a reason there's an LGBT+ Pride Day. It will take some time to explain everything, and I hope that you will take the time to read the rest of my article before reacting and responding. I am in no way trying to diminish the way people feel about themselves, but instead trying to educate about LGBT+ Pride Day and why it's not necessarily the best thing.
Before you read my article, it is important to look over LGBT history. I make it really easy for you, too-- click the link, and scroll. You may need to refer to this through my article, depending on how much you know about LGBT history. The more you understand our history, the more you'll be able to understand the point I'm attempting to get across. I had a very interesting conversation with someone else today. I won't mention who, but I will mention that this person has always been a major part of my life and still is, and forever will be. This person reached out to me and asked, "Why are so many people threatened by the #hetero pride day thing?" It's a good question. This person, who I will call John, asked a lot of great questions and we had an amazing conversation.
My answer to this led to a big discussion which ended very nicely. The only reason we have LGBT pride is because of what the community as a whole went through. We lost millions of lives due to hate and discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender, gender expression, etc. It's disheartening to think about everything the community went through and to wake up to #HeterosexualPrideDay trending worldwide on Twitter. Not because the community doesn't want heterosexual people to be proud of themselves, but because they don't understand what our Pride Day actually is. Pride Day is partially a day to be proud of yourself, but it's a day to feel safe with people who are like yourself and it is a day to remember who we have lost. It's supposed to be a day where we don't feel "less than" and we don't feel like a joke anymore. What we see in #HeterosexualPrideDay is people turning our day into a joke. Pride Day is the one day of the year where LGBT people all over the world can let their guard down and feel safe and secure. Some of us are lucky and we can feel safe throughout the year, but some people can't. Pride Day is supposed to be that day for everyone.
It's important to understand that Pride Day isn't just about being proud. It's so much more than that. As a straight, white male, John admitted that he feels as though he's pretty much told to feel ashamed of everything he did by proxy. He says things and they're dismissed. I think a lot of people are missing something huge: LGBT Pride Day invites allies to join us. As long as you are with us, you're with us. Celebrate with us. Party with us. We'll take it all. Just understand that we have Pride Day because of negative things that have happened in the past.
We have lost millions of innocent lives due to hate, bigotry and discrimination. THAT is why we have a Pride Day. We have lost children, teens, young adults, adults and elderly people. We went through a lot to get our Pride Day. Dozens of laws passed against LGBT folk working for the government, being discriminated against in the court of law, on the street, in their own homes, and eventually the police discriminated against the LGBT community, resulting in the Stonewall Riots.
People are upset today, on Heterosexual Pride Day, because those who are heterosexual can decide to have a Pride Day and it happens, then it's the number one worldwide trend on Twitter. To get LGBT Pride, we suffered for years and we still suffer. People still ask us, "Do you want a parade or equal rights?" There shouldn't have to be a decision. John and I discussed how most of the tweets were rude and they are bad remarks towards straight people, but I reminded him that LGBT people deal with that every day. Being rude to anyone, no matter what the reason, will always personally make me uneasy. It's hard to have this discussion with people who don't know what Pride Day means to us. And that is what the hashtag needs to be filled with. Everyone needs to know why WE need pride, even if they don't.
We suffered so we could reach where we are. We dealt with the bad, so now we get the good. We worked hard so we could be successful and happy.
#HeterosexualPrideDay should be filled with educational words. We should be spreading information, not hate. Both sides need to take a step back and look at this from the other person's point of view. As soon as I did that, I was able to understand how to talk to John about the situation. How to explain to him that it's not just about being proud of who you are, but about the lives lost and the lives we will lose and the rights we don't have. It can be hard to talk about, especially in light of Orlando. We are still hurting as a community. We are still struggling to make ends meet, and we are still hoping to move forward from this. So the next time you see someone make a nasty remark, try asking why they feel that way. Try asking if they can explain it to you, rather than fighting back. Try explaining to others how you feel about Pride Day.
I saw a very good analogy-- someone compared Pride Day to Veteran's Day in the sense that it's a good day, but we have both days because we lost innocent lives. If people who weren't veterans tried to say, "But what about us?" We'd all be pissed. I would be! When I say you don't need a Pride Day, I mean that in the best possible way. I mean that in the sense that your community doesn't have holes where people once stood, and your community is not missing stitches. Your community is whole and is not discriminated against because of who they love.
Love, is love, is love.
Whether you are straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, anything at all love, is love, is love and nothing can change that. But trust me, you do not want a Pride Day. Not with all the strings attached. If it were as easy as making a decision, everyone would have one... but it's not. It's about mourning, and losing, and it's about fear and hatred and bigotry and all the nasty things we have gone through. It's also about pride, and perseverance, and it's about determination.
