Your twenties are probably the best years of your life. During these years, you learn growth amongst yourself, what makes you happy, and most importantly, how to fall in love with yourself. In college, more times than less, women get the illusion that they need to find that special someone, and have an engagement ring by the time they’re graduated with a Bachelor’s degree. Being someone who is recently out of a long term college relationship, know that is not the case.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to stray away from someone whom you’ve spent years with. It’s not for lack of knowledge or lack of want, it’s simply because we are afraid of being alone and being sad. Once you’ve spent a large chunk of your life with one person, it’s terrifying imagining it without them, even if you know you’re unhappy or that they’re not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The question then remains; how are you supposed to love someone else and be happy, if you don’t love yourself more?

I’m not saying your long term college relationship isn’t going to last forever, but I’m saying, your twenties are the most important years of your life. You change more in those years than you ever will. You grow, you mature, you discover your hobbies and passions in life, and you truly discover how to be happy, without having your happiness depend on someone else. How are you supposed to grow on your own, if you’re attached to someone else’s hip the entire time? You honestly can’t.

During your twenties, you should establish your daily routine, and what brings you the most joy, every single day. You should make friends, have lunch dates, go shopping, read, exercise, and anything else that contagiously delights you, on a daily basis. It takes longer than people think to really love themselves and to mature, on their own- that’s what your twenties are for!

I am a firm believer of “everything happens for a reason” and that we should always be spontaneous; spontaneity drives curiosity and reason for exploration. When something spontaneous and great happens, you should enjoy the moment given to you and allow yourself to have fun- you never know what could come from it! We’re young, and deserve to have limited boundaries in our lives, especially by another person.

So, don’t get discouraged if you didn’t have a Valentine this year, or the year before because you don’t need one. You have enough people who love you and care about you every day, to need someone to buy you flowers and chocolate. Flowers are the greatest things ever, so maybe you should buy yourself flowers once in a while; it’ll feel better knowing they’re from you!