It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I was feeling guilty because I hadn't attended church in over a month. I had been an avid attendee for quite some time, but whether it was that I was out of town, had slept in too late, or I just didn't feel like going, excuse after excuse had kept me away. Here I was on another Saturday night, making my decision for whether or not I would set my alarm for the next morning when the realization hit me that I wasn't deciding to go because I wanted to, but because I felt guilty if I didn't. Church had become an obligation. It stopped being something I felt connected to, and started being something I felt burdened to. But why? Why is it that so many people feel this way about church? Why has it become something that we routinely attend once a week, because we feel like that's what we have to do? Because we make it about religion and not about our relationship with God.

Once I realized this, it clicked with me that I had no reason to feel guilty. I've always enjoyed going to church, but I've never relied on it to make me a better person. Church is not what is going to get me to heaven, my communication with God is. You see, I talk with God everyday. I wouldn't be able to get through half of what I do without Him. I don't pray routine prayers, I just talk to Him, because that's what has always come natural to me. My relationship with God has always been important to me, because it was my own. I could talk to God about anything and everything, in ways that may not always be considered orthodox. Oftentimes, church gets so caught up in the rules and regulations that we forget the reason we're even here to begin with.

This was a subject that had been weighing on my heart ever since that Saturday night. I decided to attend church that next morning, and it was the following week that I heard my pastor say "it's not about the church, or your religion, it's about your relationship." This was one of those moments that I could hear God telling me "there's only so much more content I can give you for you to finally start writing about this." So here I am.

God isn't interested in whether we're Methodist, Baptist, Catholic, Presbyterian, Non-Demonitational, etc. He's interested in us worshipping Him with all of our heart. He cares that we talk to Him. He cares that we don't just go to church once a week to make ourselves feel good. He cares that we have a relationship, because that's what he wants so desperately from us. Whether or not we think playing music in a church is acceptable or not, isn't what is going to bring us closer to God. So why do we let all of these little rules distract us from what's truly important? Because in all honesty, they are so incredibly dumb. I completely understand why so many people don't enjoy church; it has become about so much more than it was ever supposed to be. It should not be a matter of location, but of a personal relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I believe church is important, and I do enjoy going, but I'm not going to go out of guilt. We need to build a relationship out of love, not guilt, conquest, or obligation. Church means nothing if it is not impacting you throughout the entire week. I go to church to learn more about God, and to strengthen my relationship with Him so that I can get through the days in-between each Sunday. If you find yourself in a rut, and you're just going to church because you feel it's what you should do, maybe you need to take a step back. It's okay to miss a day, so instead of routinely sitting in the pews not taking in a single word the pastor says, you're able to take some time alone in God's word. Talk to Him, remember why you're in this religion. No pastor is going to get you where you need to be in your life, only God will.