Yeah, You Just Got Done With A Break-Up, But That Doesn't Mean You're Broken | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Swoon

Yeah, You Just Got Done With A Break-Up, But That Doesn't Mean You're Broken

There is a fine line between outward happiness and feeling whole.

408
Yeah, You Just Got Done With A Break-Up, But That Doesn't Mean You're Broken
Amy Hanks

There is a fine line between outward happiness and feeling whole.

Anyone can put on a face, laugh and try to engage, but it is what happens behind closed doors when you find yourself alone and crying yourself to sleep for the ninth time in a row that you realize something is missing...

Sure, you can talk the talk. You can try to be there for other people, and maybe if you just pretend you're fine eventually, you will be. But somewhere along the line, you won't be able to take it anymore.

And this is where I have found myself. Me -- the happy, positive girl's girl who can talk to anyone. The girl who tries to make others feel good about themselves and always puts others first.

In the last three months, I have learned a lot about myself, however, it would be hard to explain what I learned, and how I learned it, without sharing a complex part of my past.

I am a proud 3-year eating disorder survivor. Though I still cope with body dysmorphia, I am in a much better headspace than I was several years ago. However, several years ago is when a 6'1" turning point in my life literally marched through the door.

Let's call him "Ethan." He was the cutest guy in the Macy's Great American Marching Band 2014. As a band geek, he struggled a tad with talking to women, but we quickly became good friends and he ended up taking me to my senior prom. After several months of long-distance flirting, we decided to make it official. "Ethan" quickly became my entire life. His family treated me like one of their own, and to this day, they are amazing people.

But "Ethan" and I had problems. We couldn't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, and we soon began to drift apart. Now, there was a lot of pressure for "Ethan" to be the one -- an entire future was planned out, but as we slowly evolved into different people, it became clear that we were not the fairytale we believed we were.

We broke up a few months short of our second anniversary. At first, things were great between us. Of course, we were sad, but we believed we needed time apart. But as seasons pass and years roll, it got ugly from both sides -- to the point that this once peppy, happy girl felt empty, depressed.

I tried to seek happiness in many different paths throughout my life-- work, possessions, school, friends -- but I always felt like I wasn't whole. There was something missing and I needed to find it.

That was until I found myself in Marketing 3000. We had been discussing happiness, in terms of consumer behavior, with my somewhat whacky professor who jokes a lot about meth, and that's when it all clicked.

The secret to happiness does not lie in material things -- and happiness does not equal success.

Happiness involves four pillars: relationships with others, relationships with your work environment, relationships with your family and, most importantly, the relationship with yourself.

Luckily, I've always had three of the four, but when my world came crashing down three months ago, I lost myself. I believed I was broken and I would never be okay again.

As the brilliant Stevie Nicks once said, "I've been afraid of changes because I built my life around you." When you lose that foundation, it's hard to get out of the rubble and begin to rebuild on your own. But I am not broken anymore, in fact, I never was.

I think the hardest part about break-ups is the feeling that you will inevitably never find someone who understands you and loves you ever again. You might even be having a lot of self-doubts, but you are not broken. You are strong, you are valued and you will get better in time.

Breakups suck. They are like losing a part of you, but the truth is, you had a life before them, you had a life with them and you will have a life after them.

Stay strong.

Report this Content
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

178283
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

5465
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

451321
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

22664
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments