"The thing about writing is
I can't tell if it's healing
or destroying me."
-Rupi Kaur
If you’re someone who occasionally puts words onto paper, have you ever asked yourself why you write? Do you write for yourself, do you write to give others a voice, do you write to be heard, do you write to heal, or do you write to share what you can’t say out loud? I asked myself that question, and I concluded that I have a confession.
I don’t like writing.
I don’t like writing because I don’t like being vulnerable, but being vulnerable is the key to being relatable and personable. I don’t like writing because I grew up keeping my mouth shut and not being able to have an opinion, but having an opinion and speaking up is the key to being a successful and respected author.
I don’t like writing because I’m afraid of judgment and setting myself up for hypocrisy, but being honest and exposed is what readers seek and crave. I don’t like writing because I don’t like digging into my own past and uncovering what hurts me most, but hurt and pain is something that is universal and connects all living beings.
I don’t like writing.
I don’t like writing, but God asked me to write.
I don’t know if anyone reads what I write, but that doesn’t matter. I don’t write for myself, I only write because God told me to. So I reluctantly put my fears aside once a week, and I write what God puts on my heart. Sometimes I look back and I don’t recognize my own words because my writing is not my own.
Half the time my mind is blank and I feel as though I have nothing good to say, but God always has something to say, even when I lack the words. God has me write, even when it’s something I’m too scared to put to paper.
And when I’m too scared to write, I read.
I read the words of vulnerable, real, opinionated, honest, hurting authors. I read until I have to close the cover because the words are too relatable and stab directly into an old wound. I read until I feel their pain as my own and my heart aches for them. I read until I have empathy for their struggles and want nothing but to tell them how brave they are.
It’s hard to share your story. It’s hard to open up and let complete strangers glimpse into a very personal part of your life. I read, and I sit in awe at how incredibly brave and beautiful people are.
I let their words inspire me, and push me to be as real and open as they are because there’s something powerful about reading the words of another person and feeling as though they are talking directly to you. It’s personal, it’s relatable, and it’s important to know that we are never alone in this world.
So if you write, know that you are absolutely magnificant and inspiring. Your bravery is envied, and your words are powerful and notable. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
