This summer I've found myself caught in a pretty bad spell of writer's block and, admittedly, I'm frustrated as hell. I haven't written a single story or poem and I'm averaging probably one Odyssey article every two to three weeks now (which means I should technically be removed from the Augsburg chapter but, hey, I'm not going to complain about leniency). Even sitting here now, staring at my computer screen, I am feeling a lack of focus and motivation to do this thing that I absolutely love doing. This struggle has been persistent for awhile now, which has finally led me to ask myself, "Why do I write? Why do I want to write? Does it even matter?"
When creating something that requires and is meant for an audience, it becomes easy to get down and discouraged about the amount of attention my work receives; likes and shares on social media have become the new rating system that determines the worth of my writing and, consequently, the number of people that will read my work in the future. I don't want to write for likes, shares, or social media popularity, but unfortunately it consumes my thoughts every time I sit down to write. It's gotten much more difficult to write honestly and from the heart as I feel I am in constant competition to win over my friends and peers with my work. And if that's not enough pressure, the Odyssey sends me an email every time I've posted an article and it hasn't received a certain number of shares on Facebook, Twitter, etc. Hey, thanks for the heads up! As if I didn't already have enough doubts about my work...
To be totally fair, the Odyssey gives me a platform on which I can share my voice-- uncensored and in all its glory-- so I don't at all mean to be bashing the people that allow me publication. I guess I'm just sick of feeling like I am writing for everyone but myself-- the constant paranoia of offending one person or upsetting another makes up a large part of my writer's block and I know it shouldn't. My answer to the question "why do I write?" should not be: I write for the acceptance and blessing of everyone who might ever read my work. That is both unproductive and utterly useless; as a writer, one of my greatest strengths is originality of voice, something that doesn't come easily (if ever) when writing for acceptance and approval.
The real reason that I write is much more simple than I've been making it for the last few months; I write because I believe wholeheartedly that I have something to say. I believe that I can use my voice and my words in a way that only I can, and I believe I can use them in a way that is meaningful to the people around me. I write for quality, not quantity; I would rather have my work read by a single person who can find comfort, strength, or reassurance in what I've written as opposed to a hundred people who skim quickly as part of their daily Facebook intake, like, share, and then move on to the next thing, having gleaned nothing new or inspiring from what they've read.
It's going to be a challenge, but I want to rid myself of the desire for wide-spread attention and social media popularity, both of which pull my voice and my writing further from authenticity. I suppose the only real way to stay true to my readers is to first stay true to myself. This means venturing back into the writing realm of the heartfelt and the sympathetic, the caring and the honest. I realize that this may not be an easy task-- people are digesting so much information nowadays that it's just plain dangerous to demand undivided attention by writing long, personal, and ponder-some articles. I hope that my writing will be appreciated and widely-read, but not if that means sacrificing authenticity and truth. I'd rather my voice go extinct than become another piece of media-infested, self-interested garbage.
Although this struggle has been given the term "writer's block," it certainly isn't limited only to people who write. This block of motivation and inspiration affects all people at one time or another; maybe it's an athlete who no longer feels the fire of competition or a loyal employee of a company who no longer sees meaning in their day-to-day work. I guess my advice to anyone who feels stuck in this sort of rut would be to simplify things. Remove all the little things, the clutter, and ask yourself why you do what you do; try to look back and find the root of your passion and your interest. If it's just plain not there anymore, that's okay; there are dozens of skills and talents that each of us have and can use to help both ourselves and other people as well. If you do find that old passion however (and, chances are, you will) then pick it back up, dust it off, and get to work. Redirect your energy away from small, menial distractions and put it back into the things that really matter.
