Thanks to the magical world of Facebook, it’s difficult to forget special holidays, birthdays and events that are quickly approaching. Is it your friend’s birthday? Here’s a reminder to wish them well! Is it a widely celebrated holiday or occasion? Here’s a special filter or photo caption you can use for the occasion! While this is something nice to do and something fun and creative on Facebook's part, I find that more and more people are getting offended when I don’t take part in those things.

What made me think of it was an earlier conversation with my mother. She is one of the few exceptions I have to my rule of thumb about not posting things like that on Facebook, but she probably understands it more than anyone else. For Mother’s Day, Facebook made a special photo filter that says “I Love My Mom” available. I thought it was cute and decided to upload a photo of my mother and me together and thought that was that. Later in the day, I get a text from her saying that it made her day because I don’t usually do things like that.

Now, before you go talking about how cold I am, let me just say that the reason I don’t want to do this is because I don’t want to trivialize things. Back in the days of high school and early Facebook use, I would sign online and see it was a friend’s birthday, write on their wall, then go to class and see them as if it were a normal day. The thing is, so many others were like that, too, and once I noticed it I was always bothered by it. It became too impersonal.

No, I won’t post a happy birthday message on your wall. I will, however, be sure to smile and say it to you in person if I see you that day. If I can’t do that, you can be sure to expect a phone call from me, or, as a last resort, a personal text message that’s guaranteed to be four paragraphs long.

I’m not one of those “people spend too much time on the internet, and it’s ruining social skills” believers, but I do prefer to have some things remain more personal and memorable. This also doesn’t mean that I’m not thankful for every single “happy birthday” post I’ve gotten from my wonderful friends, either. I just want them to remember more than text on a page, and to actually celebrate their occasion with them.

So, why post about why I don’t post? For the most part, it’s because I know many people get offended when I don’t do these things. I assure you that it’s not a lack of care or love on my part, but instead an attempt to truly appreciate who you are in a world where we write such things off because we’re lucky enough to have all of our friends and family at our fingertips.