It's a new year, so let's talk about something that really needs to be left behind, all the way back in 2015. Comparing one another. This is something (myself included) that we are all guilty of. I think it is something that most women do without a second thought. It's our nature to look at other women, whether it be our friends or random strangers, and find the things they have that we might want. This is a dangerous habit.
Comparing myself to other women is something I thoughtlessly do on a daily basis. This has been a struggle of mine for most of my life, and it has only gotten worse as I've gotten older. This damages my self-esteem and does not benefit me. It just creates frustration and unnecessary sadness. Let me give you an example or two of how this might happen.
Recommended for you
Let's say I decide to doll myself up for absolutely no reason, just to feel really glam and pretty and all that good stuff. I make sure my hair looks voluminous and my makeup is put together just right. When everything is done, I look great, and I definitely feel great. I put on a comfy yet cute outfit to top it all off, and I am ready to go through my day. I'm walking along to class, listening to the confident sound of the new boots I got for Christmas against the sidewalk. I make it to class, sit down and boom—it happens. All confidence is lost because I see another woman across the room who doesn't seem to have to cover up the dark circles under her eyes because she doesn't even have them. She's wearing sweatpants and she still looks better than me. Her torso isn't so short and her feet aren't so big. I am analyzing every feature that she has that is "better" than my own.
Maybe on a different day I decide on a more laid-back look (aka I didn't really want to try so hard today). I put on a T-shirt, my favorite pair of jeans, throw my hair up in a ponytail and don't put any makeup on to top it off. I feel comfortable because I know I can rub my eyes whenever I want. My clothes aren't going to be squeezing me so tight. It's going to be a good day. I make it to class and there goes my confidence again. What usually happens is every other woman in the room decided to dress like royalty or they wore the "no makeup" look better. I bet no one asked them if they knew they had bags under their eyes. That kind of stuff only happens to me.
Except it doesn't.
This mindless habit can ruin moods. Heck, it can even ruin days. Why? Why do I let myself silently judge other women for their beauty and meanwhile forget about my own? When I'm busy nitpicking someone's entire appearance, they are more than likely finding something on someone else that they covet as well. This needs to stop. As women, we already face harsh expectations and don't need to egg that on by being jealous of one another. My best days when my self-esteem is through the roof happen when I ignore what every other woman is wearing and focus on why I feel so good in my own skin. We all look different and have different styles and tastes. While you are fantasizing about that girl's sleek, straight hair, she is wishing she could achieve the effortless curls you have. While you are too busy wanting some girl's high-end outfit, she is also busy wanting to wear comfy clothes and look as good as you doing it. What makes someone else radiate their inner beauty on the outside might not do the same for you, so embrace what you know makes you feel good. We are all unique for a reason, and this year I am going to do my best to focus on appreciating everyone's individual beauty without forgetting my own. I think we all need to do this together. Stop comparing, start appreciating and loving differences.
