Is it just me or has the idea of a relationship become almost disgusting to some people? I mean- I'm no less guilty. Get your heart broken enough times and you don't want to put your hand back on the metaphoric hot stove, right? It's sad; it's ruining relationships, even friendships. I've noticed people either refuse a relationship ENTIRELY, or dive into one way too fast and end up back at the beginning of this cycle. This sick guy is tired of it. I don't want to get sick at the idea of putting my heart on line. I'm not one to gamble unless it involves the Patriots. Yet I also don't want to spend my life getting shot in the heart.

One of my favorite lines of a song ever goes like this. "A boy of anguish, now he's a man of soul. Traded in his misery for the lonely life of the road." Now before recently I just listened to that song. I didn't realize I was literally following it's directions. I want to journey the world playing music, almost a subconscious escape from this monotony we call relationships. Where questions like "What are we." and "I don't think you're good for me." are never to be heard. Never to be answered. Even dating apps are no longer dating apps. They've morphed with this hook up culture to become this pool of partners to play the game with. Meet, try not to catch feelings, hook up, leave, no more communication, repeat. What a life. Obviously I'm no guru of the heart, but I own one and I know what it feels.

I know the destructive and constructive force of what a relationship can do to you. Unfortunately, so do many others. I mean, shit. I'm almost 22 years old. I don't even know IF I want to get married anymore, much less WHEN. Years ago people were having children at my age, already married. What changed? I guess this all boils down to one thing. Why we stopped lighting these fires in our hearts for other people. Greed. We've become so fuckin' obsessed with more, better, benefits. That instead of something GREAT in front of us, we run for the hills and try to look for something better. Like a selfish kid on Christmas morning who got the green truck but wanted the red one.

Now, if you think you are in the WRONG relationship this isn't a bash at you, and telling you to stay, that's messed up.This is for the people who REFUSE a relationship or simply leave because they're afraid something somewhere is better. Funny thing is, I didn't used to be this way. I used to be like an apple tree in relationships. Giving all I had. IF you've read the book the giving tree which I hope you have, you understand what happens. So future daters, hook ups, and "What are we's" of the world. Be careful the next time you come across an apple tree that will give you it's entire bunch. You do not know who will starve because of your selfishness. Thank you.