As millennials, we’ve become so obsessed with someone loving us. We force our relationships with friends, family and someone we might see a future with. Nobody really wants to be completely alone, right? I know I don’t. But what do we gain by forcing these relationships? What do we gain by trying to keep someone in our life longer than they’re meant to?
By forcing, I don’t mean holding them hostage. I mean doing everything you can to make the relationship work and the other person not even trying. I mean constantly holding out hope for that person only to continue being hurt in the end. I mean holding on when you should be moving on instead.
Sometimes a friendship can be just as toxic to your life as a bad ex. A friend that once used to be one of the most important, influential and supportive people in your life can change. Not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime, and it’s hard to decide which will and which won’t. Losing this friendship will hurt worse than a break-up, but sometimes letting go is what’s best. You can’t be the only one listening, the only one giving or the only one actually being a friend.
We also try to force our relationships with our parents–absent parents. Usually in this case, we have to be the bigger person and initiate every interaction. Sometimes, but not always, we are the only reason that a relationship–I say that very lightly–is even present in the first place. But no matter what we try, we can’t always make that parent love us like we want, like we need. I know from experience that forcing this will only cause more pain and heartbreak that isn’t worth it.
Intimate relationships are the main thing we force. Sometimes it could be with someone that we’ve been with for three years, but that doesn’t mean it’s intended to be forever. Most relationships we have early in life are stepping stones that lead us to "the one." By forcing this relationship, we could be missing out on the one person who’s actually meant for us. I’m not saying this is always the case, but a majority of the time, we waste time and effort trying to make something out of nothing. We waste our time on someone who can’t and won’t ever love us or better us. So what’s the point? Why give someone so much of you when they can't even meet you halfway?
We force these temporary relationships with temporary people only to hurt ourselves in the end. We occupy so much of our heart and mind with these temporary problems that we forget who already loves us. We forget who has been there all along. We forget about the only one who won’t ever leave.
Despite everything, God chooses you everyday. He’s the ultimate Father, friend and He’s after your heart. Isn’t that the relationship we should be more worried about rather than all of these temporary ones? When our trust is in Him, He’ll reveal the person we’ve been looking for all along. He’ll place the people in our life that we need most. That doesn’t mean relationships with people won’t end, but He’ll still be there.
I don’t know about you, but that is the greatest reassurance to know that no matter who walks in and out of my life, He is constant. Even when I’m not, I know that He’s forever faithful. And when I feel like I’m not enough and that I’m nothing, He says I’m His.
