Time and time again, in the constant battle of happiness versus sadness, loneliness acts as a crucial partner for sadness, helping it win the fight. Loneliness plays upon some of our biggest weaknesses; we are afraid to be alone, we are afraid that no one is thinking about us, we are afraid we are unimportant, we are afraid we could be forgotten. The weight of loneliness can easily add onto the pressure of sadness, making things even harder on us when we feel this way. Loneliness can be dreadful, hence why most people avoid being lonely at all costs.
Being lonely can seem catastrophic. It can eat at your soul and your mind. It can creep through your body and make pains in your chest. It can dig holes of depression even deeper, making climbing back out seem even more impossible. But when you are feeling lonely, are you really alone?
We depend so greatly on the presence, attention, and emotional attachments of the people around us that we often forget that loneliness is a normal, human condition. Often times we make loneliness out to be the worst case scenario (which for some it truly can be), and we tend to forget what loneliness can do for us as a person. If we are always afraid of loneliness, we might never have that time alone that we truly need to grow within ourselves.
Spending time by yourself, outside of a relationship, outside of constant companionship, outside of groups, or away from all of social media/phones for awhile, can help you discover who you truly are. Spending time alone makes you more attentive to the way your mind works. It can give you an opportunity to soul search and see inside of your emotions. It can make your ideals clearer and give you a better idea of what you want in your future. It can make you a stronger YOU, and make you less dependent on others. Being alone can make you understand yourself, so then you won't spend so much time and focus on finding someone who would help you understand yourself, because you already know who you are. It can be comforting to do your own thing and not have to worry about other people. Being alone can bring you closer together with your faith. But most importantly, it is important to know that when you are alone, at your loneliest, lowest point - that you are not alone. Remind yourself that there is someone out there feeling the same way. Remember that loneliness is a human experience. That there will be improvement, that this will not last forever. That even though things may seem hard now, there are people who indeed care about you greatly. Don't ever be afraid to reach out.
And so, I beg of you - do not stay in a toxic relationship with someone simply because you would rather do anything than be alone.
Do not surround yourself with people who are bringing you down just because you don't want to be alone.
Do not be afraid to learn to depend on yourself. You can do it.
Do not be scared that you will never find someone else to love you again - because you will.
Do not feel like you are the only one who can feel lonely in a crowded room; someone else in the exact crowded room is feeling the same way.
Do not let loneliness take over your life in a negative way. Use it to grow.
Do not settle with someone, or with a job, or with a place, just because you are afraid to be by yourself. You don't need anyone but yourself!
Do not be afraid to embrace loneliness. Sit with it. Learn from it.
Being lonely is one of the hardest, most painful feelings we experience. But it is important to remember that 'this too shall pass.' If you are alone, you belong entirely to yourself. Take advantage of that opportunity.
Loneliness hurts, but do not be afraid. It does not last forever. You are strong.
