Not many people in my life know this, but I have extreme, specific triggers. Some would call it "Misophonia" which means the hatred of sound, visual sights, and even kinetic energy. These "triggers" cause extreme anger one cannot handle, and the anger cannot simply be "turned off" because it takes time to recover in order to get back into a normal state. Trigger sounds could be chewing, dinnerware and silverware clinking, breathing, when people brush their teeth, any repetitive noises, etc. Visual triggers could be bringing up food to one's mouth, wrist-flicking, playing with hair, leg shaking, etc. Kinetic triggers could be feeling stomping, being tapped, or even just being touched. There are many more triggers, but these triggers vary from person to person. Many who suffer cannot stand to be triggered by anyone, even strangers, but I am blessed enough to only suffer from my family. This is why I don't know if I suffer from this illness specifically; therefore, I just call it "anxiety" or "triggers."

For me, I can't watch or hear my family eat. I have to turn the radio down in the car sometimes. Sometimes I even have to turn off contemporary Christian music. The smell of Papa John's pizza gives me extreme anxiety, and I go hungry for a while because I become enraged by just imagining myself eating it. My parents can't yell or raise their voices. I wake up angry when someone is eating cereal. I don't use bowls that clink. I have to turn the fan on in the bathroom. Oftentimes I have to escape the situation, so I leave the room to be alone. I keep earplugs and headphones in my room. I can only go a couple of hours without medication before a fight bursts out with my family. If I go without my happy pill, I snap within an instant, which then causes the situation to escalate terribly. These are just a few of the challenges I face because of these triggers. I get infuriated at the simplest things. I don't know what to do with such an extreme amount of frustration, and who would anyway?

People don't know about this because I'm always extremely happy and optimistic! I mainly experience triggers at home.

When will society stop this stigma with mental health issues? Issues like mine overtime deteriorate families. It creates an anti-social young adult without any close friends. It can cause more mental health problems. It steals money from one's pockets for therapy because he or she doesn't know how to handle situations with others.

A year ago, during my darkest time, I had thought everything would be easier to just be dead. I knew in heaven I wouldn't have to face any of the mental health problems I currently face, and I already know some cool people up there; but I knew there were people who would mourn my death. Eventually, I recovered from that scare, not only to myself but also to my family and counselor, for they were the only ones who knew.

My story was worse than it should have been all because of a ridiculous stigma.

Stop the stigma.

If you don't, who will?