A lot of people may think it’s a lonely idea to consider myself my best friend. Of course, I have other people in my life that I’m close with who I’m friends with, but I also consider myself a friend to me. That doesn’t mean I don’t like to spend time with other people, or that I think I can provide the same companionship for myself that a close friend can, but it means that I am comfortable being by myself if there is a point in which I choose to be.
Its important to get to know who you are without the outside influences of other people, because, news flash, you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, so you might as well get to know you. Having friendships, though, is extremely important for personal growth. They can be a reflection of who you are and allow you to know how you should be treated. If a friend doesn’t give you the same respect that you give them time after time, then stop trying to win them over, and become the friend for yourself that they should’ve been for you. Even if this means that you don’t see someone for a week or two, it’s better than feeling like you are desperate for their attention when you could be giving that attention to yourself in betterment.
A lot of my independence happened when I got my license. The freedom of being on the open road allowed me to not be confined to the walls of my home. I still went to some of the same places I did without a license, but it felt different because I was driving alone. No one told me where to turn or what radio station to play. Those small choices were my own to make now. Being independent and alone at the wheel for the first time was obviously terrifying, but it was a fear that had to be overcame because of the outcome. The outcome of it was growth and freedom, and that’s the same with any aspect of independence. The discomfort of fear allows for the most personal growth. Feeling uncomfortable in situations that you know will improve your personal growth is extremely important because that’s how you KNOW something is changing.
Whether it’s at work or at school, we are surrounded by people every day. Other people’s thoughts and opinions run through our brains that can either expand, validate, or change them. This can all get EXHAUSTING. That’s why spending time alone is important to regenerate and sit with your own thoughts and ideas, and know that they are just as valid as anyone else’s. A lot of the time when I hear people talk I start to question my opinions. This can be good and allows for an open mind and new perspectives, but when this happens I tend to think that other people’s thoughts are better than mine, and that I am not as intelligent as they are. Our thoughts are something that make us unique, and I always conformed to other peoples’ ways of thinking because I thought that it was better than not having someone to agree with. Which shouldn’t be the case, because what would this world be if we all had the same opinions?
Once you are comfortable being alone and “your own best friend”, it gets easier to go out and do things by yourself that you enjoy that maybe your friends might not, and it can also be therapeutic to go places alone if it's the only time you get to yourself. I care a lot, well maybe too much, about how other people feel. And yes, I do believe we can care TOO much if it is something that is CONSTANTLY on our mind. I am very conscious of my decisions because I worry how it will impact other people, and I realized that’s why I am so indecisive. I care way too much about what other people think and end up not considering myself at all when making decisions. It's obviously important to take into consideration the feelings of others, but don’t throw your own out the window in order to make someone happy. In the end, it is YOUR life.
Treat yourself how you would want a best friend to treat you, and you will end up developing a deeper self-love that was there all along but just needed a little push. It's not weird to go places alone, or to want to leave a party early so you can get to sleep at a decent hour. We are easily influenced to conform to what society perceives as "normal", especially for teenagers and college students. The norm seems to be partying and staying up late on the weekends, but honestly, most nights I am in bed by 10pm or 11pm because I got shit to do the next day that requires my energy and attention. So, if that means I don't want to stay out for an extra 2 hours because I want to keep up with my skin care routine and finish the last chapter in my book, then that is alright with me because it is what I do as a method of self-care. Having alone time is self-care and it is beautiful and wonderful to know who you are in this moment. We are constantly changing, so it is important to be aware of how we feel so we can be better friends to ourselves and to other people in this world.
