On July 15, 2016, social media star Qandeel Baloch was murdered by her own brother. In a documentary obtained by CNN, Waseem Azeem admits to murdering his sister because “girls are born to stay at home.” Overwhelmed with shame due to his sister’s controversial videos, he believed that ending her life was the only way to restore honor to the family.

I know this narrative all too well. In fact, South Indian films have played out this story time and time again, making such an unreasonable act seem justified. It always goes down like this. A young woman, usually a side character, behaves “recklessly.” She is outgoing, wears revealing clothing and has a boyfriend. She has premarital sex, which results in her becoming pregnant. Next thing you know, her family forces her to overdose on pills. Sometimes, she is saved, but sometimes, the family goes through with the act. Why? Because they rather have their daughter dead than lose their name in the public eye.

How come such a barbaric act of hate has seemingly gone under the radar? If these killings were rare then it’s understandable, but sadly these atrocities are quite common, especially in countries like India and Pakistan. Internationally, an average of 5,000 honor killings happen per year. In Pakistan and India alone, 2000 honor killings happen per year. Although the vast majority of deaths are women, men can also be subject to honor killings. In some cases, honor killings happen because a woman has been raped. For someone brought up with a mindset that everyone should be treated equally, regardless of their gender, sexuality, race, or actions, I struggle to understand how families are able to commit these horrors. It all stems from a continuing adherence to patriarchy and the belief that women are nothing but a possession. If you feel that your old dishwasher isn’t working the way you want it to or is worthless now, you get rid of it. In the same way, these “disobedient” women are seen as nothing but a shameful burden which must be disposed of. The majority of killings happen to young women, with the average age being 23 years old. These women are at that vulnerable age where they are trying to be independent, live life by their own rules and discover who they are as people.

Every single person has a right to live their life the way they please, regardless of how his or her family feels. My family means the world to me, but I will never live in fear or change who I am as a person because of my family’s beliefs, and neither should these women have to. Sadly, honor killings continue to happen because very minimal action is taken against them. According to one site, honor killings are rarely investigated and are often covered up. Countries that do have laws against these killings are seldom enforced. However, we have made some progress. The honor killing problem in Pakistan has come to light after the death of Qandeel Baloch. Charges are usually dropped if the family of the victim chooses to forgive the murderer. However, Waseem Baloch, murderer and brother of Qandeel Baloch, will be charged with a crime against the state, regardless of Qandeel’s family’s forgiveness.

Our biggest battle to fight in terms of honor killings is the mindset. I wish discrimination against women was a thing of the past, but sadly we have a long way to go. A 2013 Cambridge University study surveyed 850 adolescents about their thoughts on honor killings. A third of them believed it was justified. Only when the mindset that women can and should be treated as less than equal changes, will we see a decrease in these horrific acts.

What was Qandeel Baloch’s crime? She was a free-spirited, independent woman who lived the life the way she chose to. She posted videos on social media, where she displayed her carefree, quirky personality and mocked the restrictions placed upon her. For this, she was strangled to death by her brother, after which he openly claimed to not regret doing. The mindset needs to change. Now.