School is out, summer is here, and for the most part we have all returned to our home towns. This is the place we grew up in as little kiddos without cell phones to distract us, and without future career plans to scare the crap out of us. This is also the place we attended high school. Ah yes, let all those memories come rushing back. I can practically smell the bonfires from October, hear the cheerleaders yell and the band play at football games, the sound of basketball shoes squeaking on the gym floor is clear as a bell. And, of course, there are the faces that come to mind of the people who were right beside you through all four years. Whether those were your awkward years or the years where you physically peaked (working out in college is hard), you probably had that solid group of friends that had your back through it all. Where are these friends now? Do you keep up with these friends like you all promised each other you would when the summer after your senior year came to an end and freshman year of college began? Hopefully you do, and if not, I hope I can convince you to reach out, and here's why.
A little while back my mom asked me if I had talked to or hung out with one of my best friends from high school recently. When I said no, she reminded me that when college is over and I move back home to get a job (I intend to teach somewhere near my home town, but we'll see where the future takes me), it'll be friends from my hometown (aka, high school friends) that will most likely be in the same area. As moms always do, she made a really good point that got me thinking. While some of my best friends from college do happen to live fairly close to my hometown, at least half of them live hours away from me. This doesn't mean they won't be my friends anymore down the road, but it does mean that I probably won't see them nearly as often as I'd like to when we all graduate and go our separate ways (tears).
However, I can count on a large amount of my good ole high school friends to be returning to our shared home town, if not for their future careers then at least just for their summer and winter breaks. The point is, my friends from high school are going to be around for a long, long time, and I think that is something that is easily forgotten. I always hear that college is where you find yourself, so it would make sense that the friendships you make in college are going to be the ones that last a lifetime. This is all true, but we shouldn't let that completely overshadow the friendships made in high school. If we forget about our high school friends when we go to college, who are we going to have when we go back to our hometowns? Sure our families will be there, and as much as we love our families (and I really, really do love my family, like a lot), we still need a group of friends to do life with. Who could possibly be better for this than the friends from high school?!
Now it sounds like I'm saying we should only keep in touch with our high school friends simply because they might live in the area and it would be better to have them than to sit around at home alone all summer without a social life. This is a good reason to keep your high school friends in your life, but of course it's not the only reason. If we can't stay in touch with our high school friends when we go off to college, what does that say about how we might treat our college friends when we move back to our home towns? Maintaining relationships is important, and it is something that I very frequently forget about and I wish I wouldn't. It saddens me to think back to high school and to know that there are people that I could not imagine my life without at the time, and to look back now and realize I haven't talked to some of those very people in months.
What it all boils down to is this: the end of a relationship hurts. Whether it's in the form of an argument or simply drifting apart, the realization that a relationship has ended or is coming to an end, hurts. Sometimes relationships need to end, but when it comes to those friendships that we simply forget to nourish, I highly doubt that the endings of those relationships are necessary.
So here is my advice to you (and to myself): if you are graduating high school about to enter college, keep up with your friends from high school. Not just at the beginning of the year, that's the easy part. Actively keep up with your friends from high school throughout the entire school year. Share your exciting new college experiences with them! Tell them about the new friends you're making, complain about the fact that high school didn't prepare either of you for the endless hours of studying you'll have to put in to get a decent grade on a test, and be sure to ask them about how their college experience is going as well.
If you have already been in college for a year or more, reach out to your friends from high school. Send them a random text and ask how they've been. Don't be afraid that they'll think it's weird to hear from you, they'll probably be flattered and excited that they crossed your mind! Now that summer is here, you can actually make plans to see each other! There is no better time than now to bring that friendship back to life and keep it going strong for years to come.
