Earlier this week, I saw a movie. I debated for a while beforehand about whether it was worth going to see, not because the movie had poor reviews and public reception (in fact, quite the opposite), but rather because I knew that I would be going alone.
There's a certain stigma surrounding being alone in a normally social situation. Whether you're that person in the back of the movie theater alone, surrounded by groups of friends, or the guy who has to whisper "table for one" to the maître'd while couples clink their wine glasses behind you, or walking the mall solo, declaring that you're alone is seen as a sign of shame, loneliness or desperation.
Recommended for you
I recognize the difference of being alone compared to beinglonely, and more often than not I enjoy the former. It prevents me from feeling restricted and I don't need to accommodate others (like I would in a group situation). It might sound selfish, but who doesn't enjoy things going their way as they plan it?
The result is that I'm a very independent person and I very infrequently rely on others for assistance or social sustenance. I don't need to be around others constantly, and as much as I love the friends I do have, they are bonuses rather than necessities.So as I go about my life, I plan my life around things I want to do to satisfy myself. Still, when I want to go out and do something that society dictates is normally not done alone, I hesitate. Will people notice, judge? Part of me knows they won't, they have their own lives to care about. But that voice in the back of my mind, the voice I'm sure most other people have, still rings in that fear of being seen as lonely and ashamed.
Is it fair that we solitary people need to be shamed into staying at home, binge-watching Netflix? Is it fair that most of our leisure activities are traditionally done with others and only with others? Of course not, but we have to accept that it won't change. What we can change, however, is our attitude towards our individual and unaccompanied spirit and social preference.
Rather than feel shamed or mocked by it, we can accept that we enjoy our alone time a little more than everyone else. And when we go out and enjoy ourselves, without any companions by our side, we can walk with pride rather than awkward humiliation or defeat. Solitariness might be viewed with a poor reputation, but if it makes us feel the most comfortable, all we have to do is stop seeing it through that light.
