Did he like my picture? Why isn’t our relationship status on his Facebook profile? Why doesn’t he post more pictures of us on Instagram? At some point in your life, you may or may not have had these exact thought run through your head. I’m completely guilty of thriving off of my relationship blossoming on Instagram, or feeling reassured when the boy I’m crushing on likes my selfie. I’m also one-hundred and twenty percent guilty of forcing my boyfriends to take pictures with me so I can snag that adorable Instagram shot. We are part of the technology era, and unfortunately, our dating standards have been entirely discombobulated to paint a false picture of what a relationship “has” to be, and if your relationship doesn’t meet these materialistic standards, it *~totally sucks.

1. Happy Couples Don’t Need to Prove it 24/7

I’m all about posting a cute picture with bae, and I’m a huge Instagram junkie whether or not I’m in a relationship. Keep in mind that there are loads of super happy couples who like to creatively show their happiness, and I totally support that. That is great, but when your social media relationship image painted by today’s society and the pressure to be social media popular overcomes your own happiness or true relationship, your relationship will suffer. Sure, your Instagram will have a whole lot of likes, you might even be deemed as #RelationshipGoals, but that says absolutely nothing about the fact that he flirts with other girls and doesn’t respect you. You can be in the worst relationship on earth, but if you put up a good front on social media of you and your significant other on Instagram, then it is automatically assumed that you guys are a match made in heaven, OMG so perfect, and together forever. When in all reality, he might make you cry on a daily basis and you have nothing in common, but the likes on social media are feeding the flame of your “relationship.” I'm guilty myself of staying in a relationship where I wasn't happy because we looked so "cute" together; but looks can be deceiving, because we were both miserable.

2. Relationships Are (Usually) Between Two People

There are certain things in relationships that are personal and should not be fanned out on the internet for the entire world to see. I’m not saying keep EVERYTHING private because that would defeat the whole purpose of social media, but there are certain matters that are not meant for the public eye, such as relationship fights or mean comments about other girls, etc. IF social media is THAT important to your relationship that you feel the need to air it out so publicly, then you probably shouldn’t be in that relationship. The world doesn’t need to know about all of your fights, arguments, and problems. If you are seeking advice or help go for it, but there is nothing that gives me a greater amount of secondhand embarrassment than those who emit their drama all over my social media feed pertaining to their significant other. If you don’t like something, fix it; if you’re not happy; leave. Sometimes venting might feel good on social media, but you are attracting nobody by acting like the town crier of your relationship issues on Facebook—I promise.

3. It’s A Waste of Time

Single or not single, I start and end my day on social media perusing through the multiple channels of communication and apps in my life. Sometimes I sit back and imagine how much spare time I would have in my life if I didn’t waste such a copious amount scrolling through items that will probably never mean anything to me in life. Getting a lot of likes on Instagram is gratifying for about two seconds, but not as gratifying as it is to have good grades because I actually put my cell phone down and did my homework. The same goes for relationships. Nothing irritates me more than when I’m hanging out with a friend or significant other and they constantly sit on their cellphone. I’m not needy and I’m not attention starved, I’m just not in the mood to talk to a brick wall. There are obviously times when it is necessary to be on your cell phone, but why don’t we just cherish the time we have with people IN REAL LIFE in front of us as opposed to wasting our time and energy being concerned with people irrelevant to our lives? Imagine the time you could spend actually getting to know your boyfriend or girlfriend if you put your cell phone down and spoke to them face to face, not over your cell phone. Try it, I dare you.

4. It Can Literally Destroy Relationships

Social media is a huge trigger for a lot of fights in relationships due to all of the different avenues you can take to be a sneaky person and easily delete the trace. There are obviously lines to this amount of sneakiness; it’s one thing to be flirting with and actively emotionally cheating on your significant other, and it’s another thing to simply like another person’s Instagram post. A like on Instagram is literally harmless, but something as simple as tapping your screen twice can cause a fight. Why do we put so much emphasis on something that simple, does it really matter? He liked another girl’s picture; big whoop. In the grand scheme of life, that means literally nothing and I promise it will be okay. But then, there are those slime-balls who use social media to flirt with anything and everything that breathes, regardless of their relationship status. Side note: if you’re that scummy, please stay single and save us gals a lot of time. Texting bae during class can definitely make those boring classes go by much more quickly, and it’s always nice to know someone is thinking about you, but social media has this way of making us feel as though we are never alone--which is great, most of the time; but there are also times when we need to be our own people outside of relationships. Bottom line: do you really want to explain to your future daughter that "mommy got very mad at daddy once because he liked another girl's selfie?" Not only will you sound absolutely deranged, but you are also setting up your daughter for failure, so just put your phone down and relax.

5. It Sets Ridiculous Standards

#RelationshipGoals. We’ve all seen it, and I know that personally, I’ve felt a twinge of jealousy at seeing how adorable some couples are. The hashtag has also created this unrealistic obsession with which couple is the “cutest”. But what happened to just being happy for one another and not trying to constantly outdo each other? If you love someone and they love you, I don’t understand why social media should be a cause of concern in your life, and why anyone else’s relationship should be any of your concern. Instead of comparing other’s relationships to your own, focus on your own relationship and making it stronger. If your relationship doesn't meet any of these "goals", IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU DO NOT HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, so please don't think that. It might mean that your significant other doesn't like social media, or pictures, or maybe they just don't want to do any of those ridiculous things! It literally does not matter at all, and if you are in a happy and healthy relationship where you are RESPECTED AND HAPPY, then social media #RelationshipGoals should be irrelevant. The happiest couples don’t have to show it on Instagram, and the best relationships are shared by a bond of love—not social media likes.

6. It Makes Moving on Difficult

After a breakup, the temptation to watch their social media activity is very tempting, because now that you no longer talk to them 24/7, you can’t help but wonder exactly who is. It’s so not worth it to feel like you can’t escape your ex-significant other, and it hurts to see that they’ve moved on or found someone new so quickly on the screen of your cell phone. Although it may seem petty and immature, this is all a reality that at one point or another we have faced; it becomes nearly impossible to delete people permanently from your life unless you literally delete them on all of your social media. It's also very easy to justify that you're "just using social media" as you lurk on their social media activity post-break up, but just admit it; you're trying to see if he's moved on, what he's up to, and so many other sinister thoughts that can deter any girl/guy from moving on. Unfollow and unfriend. If you're the ultimate beholder of self-control, just don't look at any of their social media posts, but temptation is a tricky thing and will probably win.

7. We Forget How to Be our Own People

Obviously, once you are in a relationship there are certain sacrifices and compromises that must be made in order for a healthy relationship to ensue, but this does not mean that you need to know what your boyfriend/girlfriend is doing EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THEIR DAY. Social media makes the temptation of becoming clingy extremely accessible and plausible, but dear God, do not be that girl. That doesn't mean you have to play games like "who can ignore who better?" because that's childish and petty and nobody becomes happy from that. Good morning texts are sweet, and a few text messages throughout the day are great, but let each other breathe and give each other a little space. If you don't, this is how couples start to become sick of one another and feel smothered. During the puppy-love stage smothering may happen, and that's totally fine because *~OmG new relationship bae is literally perfect*~ is in full motion, but after that, chill out. After a shitty class, seeing a text from bae is a great feeling, but you don't have to text them 24/7 and know their every move. Healthy relationships are built on trust, as well as sanity; so don't assume your significant other is cheating on you/flirting with another girl if they do not respond to you. They might be doing something ON THEIR OWN for themselves, and that is acceptable.

8. It Makes Playing Games So Much Easier

"Playing games" with relationships is honestly something that I will never truly understand the purpose of, because if we were just straight up, then wouldn't it just work out more smoothly? For some odd reason, however, modern day society is all about playing "games". Games can mean ignoring someone when they text you so you don't seem "thirsty", or waiting a certain amount of time before texting someone back. Personally, if I see a text message and I'm not busy, I will probably just respond--it's simple. I'm already one of the most confusing to walk the Earth, so I don't like to make things more confusing. If I'm ignoring you, it literally probably means I'm busy or I'm really upset and don't want to push my bad vibes on you. I already have enough problems in my life, so I'm definitely not going to create more just for fun and game playing, because who time for that? If there is no logical or sane reason for me to be mad at you then don't assume I am--simple as that. Sadly, the pointless games we play with one another makes this concept almost unachievable, and it becomes so easy to make ourselves go crazy with overthinking. Sigh.