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Why We Allow Ourselves To Get Hurt By People We Love

Be strong.

Sarah Kirkpatrick

Mar 13, 2017

Florida State University

2740

Why We Allow Ourselves To Get Hurt By People We Love

magic4walls

Throughout our lives, we experience pain. Emotional pain, physical pain, psychological pain, and sometimes pain we can't identify. Many times we are able to cope with the pain or find some way to deal with it. However, there is a special kind of pain that we allow ourselves to endure over and over, normally from someone we love. In a book I've been reading recently, the author talks about how she allowed her boyfriend to treat her so badly because she didn't want to hurt his feelings, upset him, or lose him. So, she allowed him to hurt her in any way he could. That made me wonder: why do we allow ourselves to get hurt by someone we love and then comfort them and allow them to continue to do it to us?

In some cases, I think we allow people we love to hurt us because we see that speaking up for ourselves or doing something about it would upset them. Ultimately, I think we allow people we love to hurt us because we love them more than we love ourselves. In my case, I know I continually allowed someone to hurt me in a way that broke my spirit and made me think I was the problem because I didn't love myself more than the other person. I think that the person's hurtfulness made me think I deserved it and should continue to endure it because I didn't want to hurt them. However, this could not be further from the truth. No one deserves to get hurt. Even more, no one should endure comforting the person that hurt them.

The lesson here is to love yourself and put yourself first. Do what makes you happy. Put yourself, your dreams, your hopes, your faults, and dare someone to criticize you for it. Without hurting others, be unapologetically happy. Be the person you want to be and don't allow yourself to continually get hurt by anyone you love. If you do get hurt, stick up for yourself and don't let it happen again. Move to that city you've always dreamed about, see the world, be the person you want to be even if someone doesn't like it, dream big, and don't change yourself to please others. Be your own person, do what makes you happy, and don't believe people who say something is wrong with you or who put you down. Be proud of being independent and be confident in that. To those who hurt you, sympathize them, but don't comfort them. Surround yourself with people who would never dare of hurting you, and let go of those who do.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Why We Allow Ourselves To Get Hurt By People We Love

Be strong.

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No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

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