Choosing a college is a hard decision. You work for four years to get great grades; you spend three years doing what you can to get the best SAT grades possible. You spend about a year researching and visiting schools and another year doing the actual application process. Then you wait.
You get acceptance after acceptance, maybe a deferral or a rejection comes your way. It is an exciting time! You feel like you’re finally joining that adult world, or at least you’re on the right path. Then again, you’re only 17! It’s crazy that society expects people who aren’t considered “legal adults” to make a decision that will point them in the direction they’ll be headed for the rest of their lives. It’s utter insanity! But…that’s why we can always transfer, and that is exactly what I did.
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I was a mosh-pit of young, stupid, inexperienced, naïve, overly excitable, and ready to get up and go. I’d spent my entire life in Queens and Manhattan and I was ready to go somewhere new; I had a dream school in the SUNY (State University of New York) system and that school rejected me. If I wasn’t going to this one SUNY than I wasn’t staying in New York State. I had applied to 13 SUNY schools and 2 out-of-state schools. After a few weeks, I withdrew my application from one of the out-of-state schools and wound up being accepted to every single school I applied to, other than my dream school. 12 in-state acceptances and 1 out of state acceptance, one rejection, the choice was completely left up to me by my parents; so I left.
I graduated high school in June, had a weird start of a relationship, and went to North Carolina in August. As stated before, I was soo stupid. I decided in July that my relationship was worth turning into long distance and I let it take over my Freshman year. Not only was I a “Yankee” in the South, but I was also focused on a relationship that was, in hindsight, doomed from the beginning. Because of this relationship, I wasn’t as outgoing as I usually am. I worked too hard for a boy I “loved” and not hard enough on lasting friendships. Looking back, this was one of the fatal flaws of the North Carolina school I attended.
I didn’t fit in. I was a New Yorker in a Southern school. I talked, walked, ate, exercised, acted and thought differently than everyone around me. They gave out lanyards to attach keys to, but the color differed based on where you were from; it didn’t help me fit in since people could tell I wasn’t from North Carolina just by looking at my keys as I walked around with them in my hand or hanging out of my backpack because I haphazardly shoved them in there. (HINT: do not walk around with your key lanyard around your neck. You look like the ultimate Freshman and you will be pitied by older students. Yes, everyone starts as a Freshman, but try to not be a total dork).
I had different experiences and thought processes than those around me. When one of my professors talked about 9/11 he was so distant and barely impacted at all; New Yorkers? We will always have a closer relationship to 9/11 memorials and survivors and memories than anyone else in the world. When a professor asked a question, I was usually one of the first with an answer; I thought faster than the other kids around me, and the answers I’d give usually weren’t what the professor expected either; I thought differently because of the environment I was raised in.
I wasn’t happy. I’d made the wrong decision. I couldn’t spend four whole years there and then likely start my life in North Carolina because of the school’s alumni system. I just couldn’t. I’d complain to my, then, boyfriend almost every day. I’d tell my parents I wanted to go home; I started the application process.
Transferring isn’t nearly as exciting or as hard as applying to schools in high school. I applied to three schools this time around. A CUNY (City University of New York) was a place I’d sworn I’d never wind up, but as a transfer, I’d sunk into the expectation that I’d live with my parents, go to school and work; just like high school. I applied to two SUNY schools but doubted that I’d get accepted into them. And then I talked to my dad. I hadn’t applied to the SUNY of my dreams, they’d rejected me once and I didn’t want to have that happen again. But dad’s do the best kind of thing, they tell you to get up, do what you need to do, and hug you when you get knocked down. But, luckily, I didn’t get knocked down this time.
After a year of being miserable, I had gotten accepted into the school of my dreams. Since I was 16 years old, I’d wanted to come here and I’d finally made it. The relationship ended as my Freshman year came to a close (weird timing, I know…but it wasn’t my idea), but I didn’t let it get me down for too long. I could see how far I’d come, what I’d learned, and who I was in the process of becoming. The relationship would’ve ended sooner or later because I was outgrowing the place I’d grown up in. I could see myself becoming a success, becoming someone important to this world, becoming something more. I got accepted into my dream school, I was going places.
That was two years ago. Now, I’m in my Junior year of college and loving every second of it. Looking back, transferring was the greatest decision I’ve made so far in the 20 years I’ve been on this Earth. I will continue to learn who I am for many years to come, but now, I still look back at my Freshman year and smile. I met one of my best friends when I was in North Carolina; she’s from Pennsylvania and understood my feelings, she also wound up transferring. I’m spending my time working hard on school work, spending my weekends with people I have a feeling I’m going to love for the rest of my life (you know who you are), I’m still figuring out how to do this whole “adult” thing, but at least I’m happy.
If you find yourself feeling miserable all the time when you start college, it might be time to look into different school options. Even if you don’t get into your dream school, give your other school a chance. You’ll know if it’s time to transfer or if you’re having the best college experience. Don’t quit, don’t give up on college; it worked out for me!
