Recently Netflix has been coming out with a bunch of teenage romance movies starring the modern heartthrob Noah Centineo.
To All The Boys I've Loved Before
Sierra Burgess is a Loser
And most recently, The Perfect Date.
These films are the latest craze and have girls all over swooning. Teens are flooding their finsta's with posts about how with every movie Noah Centineo is in, the more they want a boyfriend and more specifically a boyfriend that resembles any of the characters that he's portrayed. How could they not? After all, what the characters Jamey, Peter Kavinsky, and Brooks Rattigan all have in common is a captivating personality, combined with the appearance of a handsome actor. However, I feel as though all of these movies are giving teens an unhealthy interpretation of what relationships are supposed to be, not an example of what to strive for.
Hear me out.
In each of the movies, the relationship between the two main characters is started by some act of deception or manipulation. In To All The Boys I've Loved Before, before they got together for real their relationship was built around lying to their friends and family in a valiant effort to make an ex jealous. In Sierra Burgess is a Loser, the relationship started as a whole catfishing scheme. And now in The Perfect Date the relationship started off as a way to make money, then a lie to everyone in an attempt for each of the main characters to get with the person they desired.
And yet despite each of the relationships starting this way, they all got a happy ending.
The whole premise is completely unrealistic and romanticizes lying, and deception, both of which are ingredients to an extremely unhealthy relationship in reality. This is coming from someone who, in the past, had a relationship built around lying to everyone around us. It ultimately resulted in the destruction of many of my personal relationships, and the degradation of how I viewed myself. There was no peachy, happy ending where we remained together and all of my friends and family forgave me.
These movies are sending the wrong message to girls, especially young teenage ones who do not have a lot of experience with relationships and their rights and wrongs. It's sending them a false message regarding the nature of relationships, teaching them unhealthy habits and telling them that those are the ones that will have favorable turnouts. They're teaching them that manipulation, revenge, and leading people on is okay and that there won't be negative consequences for doing so.
Sending these messages to such a young audience makes them more susceptible to falling into toxic relationships. While I understand that the nature of these romances is for dramatic effect and keeping the attention of the audience, there are plenty of other ways to do so. There's no excuse; mainstream media needs to do a better job of portraying healthy, honest relationships to teenage girls.
