This morning I woke up feeling as dreary as the weather. I was cold, cranky, and frankly, a little bit bitter. I was bitter because Election Day used to be one of my favorite days out of the year. It was the one day where I felt my voice was heard. Not just the everyday type of “listen to me” voice, but the one where what really mattered was heard. However, this year I do not feel as if my voice has been heard. In fact, I feel like it fell silent.

This year I was disappointed; greatly disappointed. If I can be honest, I do not think this I have been as disappointed since I turned eleven and never received my acceptance letter to Hogwarts. It sounds silly to say that, but it is true. Uncle Sam has let me down for months now. The elections have been nothing short of a demolition derby. Between the name calling back and forth and the level of immense hatred both sides have shown, I can honestly say I have never despised watching and read about an election season ever.

Both sides have shown what was in it for them-not what is in it for the people. Instead of us as one, the two candidates have shouted “Me! Me! Me!” As a woman, I feel ridiculed. As an American, I feel ignored. Neither side has shown me what they could do for us as a country, but rather they have shown me what happens when egos get in the way of the conscience and heart.

In the year 2016, I never thought I would wake up and stand in line for an election, hating the fact that whatever side I chose I feel as if I lost. As we as a country, have lost. Yet, there I was at 7:40 this morning waiting in the cold, to cast my vote. Today, it felt like a chore. I felt my vote was wasted. I felt my voice was to be wasted either way.

Even as I handed them my Indiana driver’s license, I did not feel like I was part of something that was good. I did not feel as if I was going to be making a positive difference. I did not feel much of anything other than sadness. No one should feel sad to vote, but I did.

I felt sad because neither side is really going to win. Neither side is going to feel equal to each other. Neither side is going to feel united anymore. This election has shown me how quickly the hate fire can spread with a single spark. How quickly it can destroy when both sides point their fingers and not their thumbs. Pride has gotten in the way of what is best for the people and quite, frankly, I am not sure what is going to happen next.