As someone who has generalized anxiety and, on top of it, battled a seven-year fight with anorexia, having a thigh "gap" was sadly a huge priority in my life. That seems silly, doesn't it? Why would something as simple as thighs bring so much stress and anxiety? Well, to begin it's my psychological need to strive of the perfect everything whether that means grades, clean apartment or even small legs and thighs. Or another reason is due to societies perception of beauty for women, and yes, that means fair skin, thigh gaps, long torsos, long lush hair and so on. So, let me give you a few words of encouragement -- it's okay to have one or the other, as long as you weren't me -- adopting unhealthy habits of skipping meals, running/working out excessive, etc., to obtain a not-so-natural body type.
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See, I'm that typical gal who will enforce "every body type is beautiful" because hell, it is the truth. Everyone is different from shape, size, etc. It is farfrom healthy physically and psychologically to force one's body to emulate the next persons, because for whoever created us, they didn't want us to be similar. And yeah, I forced and forced myself until my body told me enough is enough. I realized my body type wasn't made for the tiniest of thighs. To be honest, I cringe every time I reflect back on the times I didn't eat that delicious Chicago-Style deep dish pizza or a bowl of fruit and yogurt because the thought was immediately "It'll go straight to my thighs, and I don't want that." Except, one year later recovering from anorexia, I am so proud to say my thighs touch, my thighs give me the support for the new womanly curves I have gained during my recovery—lemme tell ya, I am so proud I have hips, a booty and thighs.
A few things to remind yourself, your friends, peers, etc.:
1. Remember everyone has different genetic make-up, even if you're related, you're still different. So, honestly, it is literally impossible to emulate each others body types.
2. Try not to make harsh/negative assumptions about individuals bodies—especially if their thighs touch or not—such as, someone whose thighs touch must be fat or someone whose has a thigh gap could be anorexic. Perhaps, that is their physiological build?
3. Surround yourself with supportive and true friends. This one really matters, especially in my experience. I have fought so hard to get where I am now and a reason I did was due to my roommate and those few pals who always rooted for me because they loved me as who I am, not because of my looks. Although this is hard, try it, you'll realize how much happier you'll be.
4. Lastly, be yourself and realize the important things in life. Don't allow media to creep into your subconscious and dictate who you are or the worth of your living. During my recovery process, I first freaked out that my thighs are touching. I was mortified to the point of almost relapsing, then I realized "Hey, this doesn't mean shit! Go out and do what you love." Sometimes this ridiculous thigh crap really consumes the important things in life and you must learn to let go of this silly, pointless norm society has instilled in everyone.
With all this being said, I understand it's hard not to give into society's standards; we fight it every day in one way or another. But here is the thing: we as a nation need to start fighting back against "body norms." As time goes by you find younger boys and girls starving themselves, exercising to an obsessive amount to obtain this "perfect" body type, especially in regards to thighs. It's time to tell our our society, our media and others that enough is enough. Now, I am not saying don't eat healthy (however you define healthy eating), but rather allow yourself to splurge on yummy foods without a triggered response of "negative consequences." Just remember, letting something as ridiculous of the notion "thigh gaps" define you is outrageously wrong. What defines you is how you care for others, how you embrace society in a positive light, all in all, how you carry yourself. Not your looks (although, you all are beauties), your education or wealth-status. It's all about you as a person, so be that unique, quirky and amazing person you're set out to be despite societal standards.
