July 17th, 2010

I was 14 years old the summer I decided to become a vegetarian. I stared at the ceiling and thought long and hard about it that night because I wasn't actually sure if I was going to be able to make it past two weeks in the beginning. And would you look at me now after six years? The truth is, this decision turned into something close and dear to me. These six years have been passionate, serious, and special to me as I went forth and tried to create a better life and a new world for me without meat on my plate. It became a piece of my identity. But today I leave this piece behind.

Disclaimer: The vegetarian/vegan community has my heart always and they include some of the most kind and intelligent people I've ever come in contact with. This is by no means an article about how I solved the meaning of life with grilled chicken. I just want to be clear when I say that I've never believed that there's one specific "right" way to eat for everyone out there.

So, why did you quit?

To answer this question, I think it's best to talk first about why I started in the first place. The videos of animals suffering broke my 14-year-old heart and still continue to do so today. Flirting with healthier habits was ultra-important to me. My family has a history of high cholesterol and how awesome would it be not to ever even have that problem at all? I used to be able to confidently state all the reasons on why I was a vegetarian, but that started to change.

1. I was on a slippery slope back to the circle of life.

The thing is, it became harder and harder for me to utter why I became vegetarian. You know how career classes suggest you prepare a short "elevator speech" for future employers and networking opportunities that goes somewhere along the lines of "Hi my name is ___, I go to the University of ____ to study ____." It kind of feels like you need to create a pseudo elevator speech about why you became vegetarian and line up all your beliefs about animal rights and health/facts then and there. Slowly, my small speech became an incredibly vague utterance about health and animal rights and my well being.

I was a pesco-ovo-lacto vegetarian which meant I ate fish/dairy as well. Why? Well...I mean, I like sushi. But I like a lot of things. And I don't think that a carne asada-pesco-ovo-lacto vegetarian actually exists. There had already been more growing holes in my vegetarian ideology. For example, I was on a strict "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy with chicken broth soups. How dare I give up broccoli cheddar soup?

2. Being Vegetarian started to become unhealthy.

This is hard to grasp because vegetarianism is usually sold as one of the healthiest diets you could ever consider. But for all the health benefits that vegetarians are granted, I happily made up in carbs. You know what is vegetarian? Fries, almost all desserts, pizza, donuts, breads, starchy foods and PASTA - the list probably goes on and on. I welcomed these things into my life with open arms.

This might be the reason why my immune system wasn't the best during the last year. But after eating meat, I have been gaining energy. My head feels clear, I am hungry significantly less than I used to be and I feel a bit happier to try all these things that I haven't tasted in years.

3. I'm tired of denying free food.

This reason seems very whiny. But in all actuality, when you place yourself in my shoes and you've denied a hostess/host who has been working their butt off preparing a Beef Wellington meal for all to eat it's hard not to feel guilty. As a broke college student, I'm also tired of denying free food, whether that's the free pepperoni pizza on campus, or the crunchy chicken cheddar wraps they give to the marching band for free during football games at KU. But to the hosts and the family members, the patient waitresses and the people who have gone out of their way to help me during these six years and ESPECIALLY MY PARENTS - you guys are amazing and I'll never forget your kindness.

4. Culture

While it's an amazing and wonderful culture in itself, I can't help but think that being a vegetarian left my tastebuds blind to a lot of culture from around the world. Trying different foods and being adventurous was something I always challenged myself to do. But I think that there were so many things I passed up that cooks around the world, the taste of tradition around the world that I missed out on. From Japanese Tonkatsu, Chicken Adobo from Filipino Culture, Jambalaya from the South, Ethiopian Tibs, the Latin American Carne Asada, Bangladeshi Beef Curry, to my own home's pride: KC Barbecue - it has all gone over my head.

5. My Daddy's Cooking

I believe that this is my biggest reason that I have made the switch. My father is an incredibly kind and tall Filipino man who has some serious cooking skills. Throughout these six years, he's made me all kinds of dishes that were equally amazing. But as I am tired of denying free food and kind hosts, I'm also tired of denying my daddy's food that fills our house up with delicious warmth. I'm tired of denying the chicken he spends all day marinating for his family. I'm tired of heating up a dull black bean burger from morning star in a microwave after he's spent all day making something one of a kind. I think this is a special, beautiful privilege.

My dad is not only a Filipino dude - highly skilled in making the best fried rice in the planet - he also worked as a cook in Hawaii, where he was stationed for years during his time in the air force. He's a multi-faceted powerhouse in so many different ways. How dare I say no to his delicious foods while I'm still living and breathing?! After a couple of weeks of eating it, I can't even believe that I ever stopped.

Although I paved a culture of vegetarianism into my heart, I think that a bit of my own culture has been lost here as a half Filipino woman. I miss the tastes of chicken adobo and lumpia by my grandma. I want to be able to learn and keep tradition and the tastes alive.

And also, MAN, I just want to eat some of my daddy's food.

My world now is just so curious and open.

Before my parting note, I do want to note that during this change, I still think that it's important to stay conscious and stay humble. This lifestyle has strengthened my discipline and inclusiveness to people with all sorts of dietary restrictions. Most of all during this change, I strive to be a conscious omnivore and still an advocate for animals who live their lives in stressed environments. It's still something that has never left my heart despite the diet change.

My heart feels that this is the right decision. While leaving off meat has been something that I have been passionate about for years, I think that for my health and sense of belonging in the world sees this fit. And I cannot wait to finish this carne asada taco.

Signed,

An "Outed" Omnivore