I think it’s a fun little experiment to go back and watch movies or TV shows you used to love as a kid and see how well they hold up today. In my case, most of the times I revisit favorites from my childhood they hold up very well and I still enjoy them greatly. There is one movie in particular that I feel most people should revisit before they herald its greatness willy-nilly and that movie, unfortunately, is "Space Jam." Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I’ve seen way too much joy and enthusiasm surrounding this movie which I feel is incredibly undeserved.

Most people I know who sing "Space Jam’s" praises have not seen it in years and are completely blinded by their nostalgia goggles. I’m a big fan of watching certain bad movies because they can be really funny to observe. The directors and writers (most of the time) thought they were making something great and it's humorous to see the craft become a blunder right before your eyes. With "Space Jam" it’s clear that after the original concept, nobody making this movie cared if it was good nor put the effort into making it fun. It was created to sell merchandise. I see people wearing their “Tune Squad” T-shirts to basketball games and malls, they attempt to quote the movie with their friends and it frankly causes me to throw up in my mouth a little bit. Again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion (especially if that opinion is regarding a Looney Tunes movie) but I’m here to deliver some closure and explain why "Space Jam" is a monumental failure of a movie and should not be well-received as it already is by a majority of movie-watchers.

Burn it, burn it with fire!

"Space Jam" had one job and that was to make Michael Jordan interact with the zany, whimsical world of the Looney Tunes in a fun and investing way. It did not accomplish this job. The Looney Tunes in this movie are written so far off from what makes them great. It feels like you’re watching Looney Tunes from some alternate universe, a universe where they’re written as boring as possible and without the fun quirks that make each character classic and memorable. The voice actors don’t come close to bringing the passion of these characters and it doesn’t sound like any of them really tried. It sounds like they recorded their dialogue in the recording booth for one hour and then went home. Their personalities do not sit well with a Looney Tunes fan like myself.

I hold a lot of respect for the Looney Tunes, and "Space Jam "is especially worse if you watch it immediately after viewing some clips of classic Looney Tunes cartoons. Bugs Bunny is atrocious in this movie. Bugs is a character I personally think is more enjoyable to watch than Mickey Mouse. Mickey is just a mascot for a corporation, Bugs Bunny manages to also be a legitimate character who is entertaining to watch for more than a few minutes. He's a leading man rather than just the face of the brand. In this movie Bug's voice actor, Billy West ("Futurama") does not even attempt to channel Mel Blanc’s sarcasm and wit in his portrayal of Bugs. He sounds like he’s playing Bug’s weird distant cousin, everything just sounds off in the voice acting and the shoddy dialogue he’s given is incredibly noticeable when I’m watching the movie. Looney Tunes was never about pee jokes, seeing Porky Pig say “I w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wet myself” destroyed a little bit of my childlike wonder.

Seriously, why do they look so evil in this shot? It's almost like they're purposefully ruining their legacy for years to come.

All the advertisements for "Space Jam" highlighted Bugs Bunny finally meeting acclaimed sports star Michael Jordan (because what everyone wanted in entertainment was for Michael Jordan to meet cartoons, right?) But how can they expect audiences to be well-receiving of this when Bugs is not true to his character and Michael Jordan acts like a piece of cardboard the entire movie? The two selling points of this movie fall flat immediately which is not a good sign at all.

The movie simply isn’t that funny, the overall ‘joke’ or gimmick seems to be “Look how annoyed Michael Jackson looks surrounded by cartoons!” The problem is that I’m not quite sure that’s a joke, it just seems like a very poor idea. Space Jam is definitely not the first movie to do a hybrid of live-action and animation, but it probably is the worst instance of it. 1988’s "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" brilliantly and seamlessly integrated cartoons into a live-action Hollywood. "Looney Tunes: Back in Action" (a movie released after "Space Jam, "but not as popular for some reason) also made it believable that humans and Looney Tunes could live side-by-side and work together in the Warners Brothers Studio Lot.

The difference between these two examples and "Space Jam "is that whenever they do a live-action/cartoon combo in this movie it’s solely in the cartoon world (save for one or two small scenes.) Every character and background are animated, which leaves Michael Jordan sticking out like a sore thumb since he looks like he’s just blankly staring at the set on a green screen (because that’s exactly what he’s doing, he has nothing to act off of.) In "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and "Looney Tunes: Back in Action" the cartoons do everything in the world of live-action. The human actors have other people and real sets to act off of and occasionally have to talk to little cutouts when it comes to acting with the cartoons. In "Space Jam," Michael Jordan is all by himself and it really shows. They don’t even try to make his inclusion in the Looney Tunes world believable at all, it pulls me out of the movie and shows how bland it all is.

Who looks more convincing alongside a cartoon character? Michael Jordan (above) or the amazing Bob Hoskins down below (R.I.P.)

I clearly have a bias but Bob Hoskins just looks so much more convincing and seems to fit well in this world, a huge contrast to MJ.

The animation itself isn’t that pleasant to look at, the models of these classic characters bring nothing original to the table. They look like they were lazily copied and pasted onto the scene whenever they were needed, and the designs for the new characters don’t help whatsoever. The new characters in this movie include a group of 5 aliens, their boss and Lola Bunny (who’ll I’ll get to later.) The 5 aliens look like bland little generic aliens that took a few hours of drawing to complete. It doesn’t look like anyone made any small touches or improvements after first glancing at the doodles.

I actually do like their designs once they turn into the “Monstars” (who they remain as for the majority of the movie) but their animation can’t save their dull, boring characters. They deliver no funny lines, have no unique voices (if anything, they have very annoying voices) and are absolutely brain-dead which is a huge problem considering they’re supposed to be the villains.

*yawn* Booooorrrriiinnnngggg

Whoa alright, now these designs I can get behind. They look pretty cool, I'll admit that.

The story is a complete mess as well. The writers had to come up with a reason for Michael Jordan to play basketball with Bugs Bunny and it feels like this plot was written last-minute and submitted on the first draft. Basically, the Looney Tunes are living happily in their “Looney Tunes Land” which lies beneath a random golf course in the United States (I mean, what?) Aliens from a theme park on a distant planet come down to Earth and break through the barrier into Looney Tunes Land on a conquest mission. They plan to capture the Looney Tunes and use them as comedic slaves to entertain guests at their amusement park. Bugs, Daffy, Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd and the cat Sylvester come together to try to negotiate with the aliens and end up challenging them to a game of basketball, due to the fact that the aliens are incredibly tiny.

For some reason, the aliens agree to this challenge and go off to seek a way to win. In doing so they (wait, hang on, this upcoming sentence is so incredibly stupid that I have to take a moment to prepare myself...) ok so the aliens magically ‘steal the talent’ from all-star players in the NBA and use that ‘energy’ to become giant monsters that are good at basketball, thinking they have the upcoming game in the bag the Looney Tunes are surprised to see that their competitors are now much bigger and stronger than they are, so they kidnap Michael Jordan while he’s playing golf and ask them to help win this basketball game. That’s it, that’s the plot. It sounds like something a 7-year old would come up with while playing with his toys to justify why his Michael Jordan action figure is dunking on a Marvin the Martian plush doll.

I want to see a movie where the Looney Tunes from the 50s sit down and watch "Space Jam" together, it’ll be a million times funnier.

Michael Jordan’s storyline isn’t anything gripping either. The movie takes place during the period of time when Michael Jordan retired from basketball and took on baseball. He’s pulled away from his life of baseball (literally, by a cartoon rope) to play basketball with the Looney Tunes and he doesn’t even bat an eye at this radical change in his life. Michael Jordan has such a stiff, blank expression on his face the entire time, even when surrounded by Looney Tunes!

I’m not sure if he’s aware he’s in a movie, there are times where it looks like a camera crew just followed him around and later on painted cartoons around him. Granted, Michael Jordan isn’t an actor but if your main character cannot express himself or emote even a little bit in action or comedic sequences you’re going to have a lot of trouble making an enjoyable movie.

What’s really insulting about this movie is the blatant advertising. This movie was only made so that they can sell more Air Jordans and to sell Looney Tunes merchandise, except basketball-themed. I don’t mind products being created after a movie does well but it seems like the products for this movie came first and the actual movie was made to justify selling new things. I can’t count the number of times they reference Michael Jordan’s sneakers in this movie. There’s one scene in particular where Wayne Knight’s character barges into Michael Jordan’s room and delivers a huge spiel referencing all the things Michael Jordan has advertised in the past.

Obviously, this line of dialogue is a little wink at product placement in movies but the way it's delivered isn’t exactly comedic. It seems like Michael Jordan’s sponsors demanded that Warner Brothers name-drop their products in the movie if they’re going to use MJ as an actor.

Not very subtle...

Daffy Duck knows exactly what movie he's in.

I suppose now it’s time I bring up the worst aspect of this movie, Lola Bunny.

Lola Bunny is a Looney Tunes character created solely for this movie, however, her only purpose is for the male characters to ogle at her. There's no personality to her whatsoever, there's barely a character here. She’s a Looney Tune but she’s not funny at all, she’s not zany, her actions aren't clever and she doesn’t do anything worthwhile except shoot hoops but look...hot while doing it. That’s all? That’s the character? She’s just a sexy rabbit, what are they trying to convey to the audience? Why does she look like Natalie Dormer? What’s the point? Her rabbit ears fall over her eyes like hair, she has ‘bunny boobs,’ she gives seductive looks every time she’s onscreen.

I’m not joking when I say every time she’s introduced in a scene it’s for the visual gag of male characters drooling on the floor and having their tongues fall out of their mouths. She’s good at basketball which helps the Looney Tunes team so I guess you could say there's a purpose for her to be in the story...but if only her character had something more. She’s just a female Bugs Bunny, I'm pretty sure at one point she's even referred to as just 'Girl Bunny." It seems like she was written into the movie so that girls would feel somewhat included if they were made to watch this with family or friends. However I think her inclusion did the opposite, I’d think girls would be insulted by the use of her character as just some object.

I think I permanently damaged my eyes with the eye roll I just attempted.

I can only think of a couple things I can praise this movie for. One is the voice acting of Danny DeVito’s character (because he’s Danny DeVito and he’s great.) He just sounds like Danny DeVito which is usually good enough for me. I also enjoyed the performance of Wayne Knight’s character. Wayne Knight ("Seinfeld, Jurassic Park") plays Michael Jordan’s...sidekick(?) in the movie. He might be his assistant or manager but it truly is not so important to the plot. I just like watching him because he was incredibly entertaining as Newman in "Seinfeld." Bill Murray plays himself and he essentially just does his normal Bill Murray schtick. He’s sarcastic, glum and a delight to watch. I don’t blame him for taking this gig considering he probably got a decent-sized paycheck from Warner Brothers.

He makes a really great, funny cameo in this barren wasteland of a movie. As you can see, the only aspects I can compliment this movie for are things I already previously enjoyed in other things. Oh and one last thing that’s very good in this movie, the theme song! Within the first 5 minutes, we’re introduced to one of the most kick-ass montages in film history. “Come On and Slam” plays over a fast-paced sports reel showcasing Michael Jordan’s career. It’s the most hype song ever created and easily pumps me up for anything. It’s the biggest shame that this amazing song was wasted on a dumpster fire of a movie like this.

This movie could really use that assistance, Bill. Wait, Bill Murray? What are you even doing here?

Looney Tunes and live-action can definitely work if there is thought and care put into the script. Looney Tunes and sports can work if the story is tight and funny. Looney Tunes meeting real-life celebrities can work if the celebrity in question looks invested while filming and if the Looney Tunes have consistent personalities and humor. Looney Tunes and Michael Jordan do NOT work together which makes "Space Jam" a monumental failure of a movie. The basketball scenes are neat and innovative, I guess, considering it’s cartoons doing cartoon things to make shots but that could’ve worked for a 15-minute short. It does not work in a full-length feature film that is bogged down by boring exposition and cheap gags. It astounds me that there are talks to create a sequel with a new star like LeBron James or Kobe Bryant. I suppose LeBron can act a little better than Michael Jordan considering he’s been in a few movies in recent years, but this movie is definitely not deserving of a sequel.

They barely had a story for "Space Jam 1" and they’d really be scraping the bottom of the barrel to follow it up with a "Space Jam 2."I recommend that anyone who thought "Space Jam" was good should go revisit it immediately to see how different the film feels viewing it with adult eyes. As I mentioned earlier, a lot of films from our childhood still do hold up because they were made with heart and reach a wide variety of audiences. "Space Jam" was made to sell shoes, toys, and jerseys. It doesn’t accomplish anything beyond that. Watch this movie again, take off your nostalgia glasses and witness the Looney Tunes beat a dead horse with this heartless product. I’ve called it a movie this entire article, but I should call it for what it really is, a product.

🎵 We’re in the money! We’re in the money! 🎶

🎵 We got a lot of what it takes to get along 🎶

P.S. I fully understand that merchandise is something that is inevitable and follows most every movie made. My argument here is that with "Space Jam," the ideas for merchandise came first (Looney Tunes + Basketball = money) and THEN they decided to try to make a movie to justify it. Usually, it’s not until a movie does well that they start creating toy lines and advertisements, it should never be in the opposite order, which clearly seems like the case with "Space Jam."