In our minds, we see every outcome playing out all at once. If we take the chance, it could go wonderfully, or it could crash and burn and we end up even more hurt than before. If we stay where we are, things could play out fine, or we miss our shot completely and end up wondering “what if” for the rest of time.
As hard as it is to make decisions, it’s also hard for us to be okay when things are in the grey areas. Ambiguity can’t be controlled or predicted, so consistency is an anxious person’s safety net. This is why we often do toxic things that are comfortable instead of taking chances that may or may not help us in the long run.
When we get worked up about a problem it sounds a lot like, “I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I do and I can’t stop feeling it.” Or, “I want to do it but I’m afraid of {XYZ} even though I know that probably won’t happen.” It’s infuriating to feel so many things all at once and never know when you’re making the right decisions for yourself. You get so worked up about simple conflicts or even a potential conflict that may arise from a certain choice you make.
So next time you see your friend torn up about what to do, offer advice, comfort them, but please don't say "just do it".
