When I was in middle school, if you asked me what it would be like when I finally had my little teenage life together, the one thing I would have said every time was I’d be in a relationship. It wasn’t until I was a junior in high school that I realized I didn’t want a relationship and even more so I realized that I definitely didn’t need one. This enlightening moment came when I realized how truly blessed and happy I was in my life. I didn’t have a boy in it and that didn’t affect me.
Don’t get me wrong, relationships are great; I am a fan. But even more, I am a fan of being independent and not needing someone in my life romantically to establish my life being together. It wasn’t until recently that I figured out where this mindset came from, it wasn’t was from my parents or my friends; it came from my social media, and in hindsight society. If you were to scroll through my twitter feed, you would find countless accounts talking about relationships, how good they feel and how much sex is a big part of it all. In our society kids are very much influenced by social media, and as my little middle school mind as shown, what is on social media.
If you were to walk down my high school halls, you would see two things happening, a group of girls standing in the middle of the hall talking about the cute guy that sits behind them in math is or how amazing their boyfriend is, and the other thing you would see is couples, everywhere, but this isn't just limited to high school hall ways. In college you return home, and to add a sour taste to your turkey, you are asked why you aren’t in a relationship? In college and in high school there are more important things then relationships, such as getting good grades, making life long friendships, being able to just go on a date, and not worrying about the drama and pressure that comes with relationships. But that’s not what society is focusing on, we shouldn’t be teaching teenagers that relationships are the end all be all, because often times they aren’t.
I would rather my children grow up learning to be independent and resourceful then learning how to depend on someone else for their happiness. By focusing so much on relationships, it gave me the idea that being alone, single and independent is a bad thing, something that should be feared. It’s not. It’s something that should be cherished and praised. Why do you need a man in order to be successful? You don’t. The truth is relationships won’t change your status on whether or not you have everything.
Often time’s relationships can destroy what independence and self-worth you have. While I’m not saying relationships are bad, I’m saying society needs to stop making it about status, a relationship should be with someone who you care about not just because it’s comforting to know you have someone. Often times girls and guys feel they are worthless because they don’t have a special someone, and that moving on, is often conveyed as moving on to someone else. Here is the thing, you can be over someone and not with someone else, just because you don’t have someone to tell you are special, doesn’t mean you aren’t.
Relationship don’t make you always strong. In fact I found that people who are single are the strongest, they should praised for having enough confidence to wait for someone who does sweep them off their feet not just the guy in a bar who makes them feel special. This is a lost concept for most people, while you can be attracted to someone, that doesn’t mean they are the best fit. There is a big difference between love and loving what someone does for you, and often time’s people forget this in order to keep with society standards. More than likely you will see in movies women searching for a husband, because why? Because it’s a crime to be alone? Because the idea of not needing any one is something that should be feared? Why is dying alone so scary? There is more to life than being in love. There are sunsets that take your breath away, there are empires to build and you don’t need a king or queen to help you.
This is what society should be focusing on, independence, happiness, careers and finding moments make life worth it. Feminist have it right; you don’t need a man to be a women, and you should find beauty in yourself. You should find worth in yourself, not in being held. You should find happiness in things you do, not in someone else.
These are things thing that should be covering social media, headlines, and movie pictures. Girls should grow knowing they should come first, being able to hold their head high before they find love. Relationships shouldn’t be viewed as a must but more as something comes along to benefit you. Just imagine what would happen if society put more pressure on this, because Elsa didn’t need a man to save the day, and neither should our society.
