We act as if insecurity is a disease, or a negative aspect of an individual that makes them different- ostracized. “She only acts that way because she is insecure”, or, “He uses of all those girls to hide his insecurities”. But the truth is, we are all insecure. We are all guilty to some sort of lack of confidence in one way or another. Sure, some people are more secure in themselves than others, but deep down at the root, we all have worries and doubts about ourselves. As I have tried to write this article several times, I never really understood what my main focus on this topic was supposed to be. I could discuss reasons people are insecure, areas of life that are insecure, or even how people may overcome their insecurities, but none of those options really felt right for me. Over several weeks of postponing this topic, I have finally come to realize what to focus on; we have already established the fact that we are all guilty of some type of insecurity, but I guess the question to ask is, Why?
Why is insecurity a characteristic that we are so well taught to hide? It’s almost as if it is against ‘the rules’ of living to show any sort of vulnerability of one’s self. Society acts as if we are supposed to know exactly who we are as individuals, where in reality I don’t think that many of us know who we are. Sure, we know our names and a few things about ourselves such as our favorite color or even favorite food, but other than the basics, I really don’t know much about my own self. Some days I want to be an outgoing individual and other days I would classify myself as shy. Some weeks I feel that I am a complete people person, then in contrast there are weeks where I cannot stand society. Sometimes I promise myself to live a complete healthy lifestyle of plant based foods and fitness, but other times I indulge in ice cream and television. Am I a shy person, or an outgoing individual? Am I healthy, or lazy? Who am I? Who are you? Personally, I believe this idea of identity misunderstanding leads to insecurities.
Whether you wear your insecurities on your sleeve, or your cover them up with makeup and extravagant instagram posts, it is natural and human to have an insecurity or two. But why? Why does the female athlete feel as if her shoulders are too masculine to wear a halter top in public? Why does the college student lose sleep over the fact that they are single, nor sleeping around unlike the fellow college students? Why does the mother of three view her stretch marks as punishments rather than rewards? Why are we so afraid to stand in front of large crowds- our hair might be out of place, our shirt may hang weird, we might look too skinny, too fat maybe, our outfit isn’t up to par, public speaking isn’t our thing, the list goes on. Why is feeling secure in our own skin so hard to do?
It’s easy to feel secure when people are constantly throwing compliments your way. There’s no question as to why some people are more confident than others. It only makes sense that the ‘popular’ people are more secure in their skin than the ones who walk the same halls invisibly. With that being said, why do we depend on other people in order for ourselves to feel comfortable in our own skin? The male dancer shouldn’t feel embarrassed to tell his classmates about his ‘feminine’ hobby if dancing is what truly makes him happy. The college student shouldn’t feel insecure on the major of their choosing simply because it’s known to have low pay- if that’s your dream job, why not go for it? Why do we keep our happy places a secret as if they don’t meet society’s standards? Are we too insecure to show our true beings?
I know all too well that overcoming an insecurity can feel nearly impossible. Fortunately, I wouldn’t label myself as an insecure individual, but I have my list of things to be tweaked and fixed. But just like everyone else, I try not to focus on the things that make me feel uncomfortable but rather try to shine light on the things that are secure in my life. I am not quite sure how we are supposed to overcome insecurities, but I do know that they are a prominent thing in life and we should not feel guilty for having insecurities. Still, my question is, why are we so insecure?
As we all know, everyone has their own degree of insecurity about themselves, some people being more insecure than others. On top of that, some insecurities are more powerful or take a larger toll on an individual than others do. But again, why? We are insecure about our teeth, acne, feet, weight, body shape, home life, level of education, relationship status, occupation, food on our plate, social economic status, you name it- the list is never ending. Why is it so easy for us to feel embarrassed and worried, but so hard to feel comfortable smiling, eating, or working?
Personally, I feel as if the word ‘insecure’ holds a negative stigma, and I really do not like that. As I have stated multiple times, we all as human beings have insecurities- it is natural and a part of living. Since this characteristic is so prominent, why do we view it as if it is a ‘bad’ thing? Sure, maybe being insecure is not necessarily a ‘good’ thing, but why do we use the word in context as if it is the worst thing somebody can be? I mean for all’s sake, nobody would take being told they are insecure as a compliment. But why? Why can’t we view our insecurities as normal and move on? We are we so insecure?
