Throughout the past year, we have seen the word “goals” on photos of relationships, fit bodies, outfits, and many other things. This is me telling you should not be jealous of these “goal worthy” photos, and why I do believe that this whole “relationship goals” thing, needs to end.
What I’m trying to convey is that Instagram does not capture the relationship, and we do not see what is behind the scenes. We see the good, the happy, the laughter, the big moments, the awesome memories, but we don’t see the bad.
Today, we scroll through social media and see a photo of a couple shopping together, or laughing together, or eating together, or any other normal thing that humans do daily, & then have comments underneath them saying “goals” or “#relationshipgoals.” First, I will tell you that even if the photo of Logan and I up there is super cute(simply because he is super cute), our relationship is not all smiles, laughs, and cute photos. Long distance isn’t a walk in the park, and we are going through things that we weren’t going through a year ago, and it isn’t easy. But, you do not see me putting photos on Instagram saying that Logan and I barely talked today and then we got in a huge fight. (P.S., this is an example, I am not saying that we get in huge fights, it is saying that I’m dramatic and he is very good at putting up with me, but it is also saying that fights do happen...)
People do not publicize the bad because they only want to show off the good. If you think that photo is “goals,” then you can go to your significant other’s house, sit next to them on the couch, kiss them on the cheek while they smile at the camera, click the camera button, and there you have it: your “goal.”
Perfect relationships do not exist.
Someday, when you are with the man or woman that God has made for you, you will get in disagreements, you will be upset about stupid little things, maybe sometimes you will want to give up on them, but in the end, they’re y our human. Life is not going to be an Instagram-worthy photo. There will be hard moments and you just need to get over it.
Social media, no matter how great it is, does not reveal the whole story. People are letting pictures of other couples be the standard of what they expect out of any relationship they enter. “People aren’t setting their own standards and instead are settling for the cookie-cutter version of what a ‘real’ relationship is supposed to be.”
Sure, it would be great to receive a box of your favorite stuff with an outfit laying on your bed and a note that says “Put this on and be ready at 6:00, I’ll see you then. <3” But this does not make a relationship healthy. What makes a relationship healthy is the stuff that social media cannot see; the prayers, the love, the affection, the real laughter, the deep talks, the “let is out” moments, and so many other things that make your relationship, y our relationship.
You should find a man(or woman) that makes you a better person, someone who strengthens your faith, someone who makes you so stupid happy that you thought it was impossible to be that happy, someone that will let their shirt be your tissue and act like they’re not grossed out, someone who can make the worst day perfectly fine, someone who supports you and puts so much effort into you, and someone who you would want nothing more than to spend the rest of their life with you. Make your “#relationshipgoals,” be your relationship, do not let it be a photo of another one.
Anyone can pose for a cute picture. “Our heads have been filled with these fake portrayals of what relationships should look like for so long that now the expectations are all wrong. And when we go into relationships expecting it to live up to what we have seen on social media, we end up disappointed.” Every relationship is going to be different because, guess what brothers and sisters, every single human being is different.
I know I said I would focus on relationships, but a side note. Even with the photos of “perfect bodies” or “goal bodies,” we do not see the hard work or what they did to achieve that body. It is hard work, and shout out to them for doing so well with their goal, but it may not be doable for some. It truly may be physically impossible f or your body to reach the point that their’s has. Just because you wear a size 18 does not make you any less beautiful than the girl doing the ab workout tutorials. Your body is yours, and the “goal” that you see may not be capable for your body. Do not be down on yourself because that isn’t your body.
Make your goals achievable, set your standards where you feel they need to be set, do not be unrealistic with yourself. If you do this, you will upset yourself through your relationships, your body, your clothing, your skills, etc. If it cannot happen, it will not happen. God has given you this life, with these people, with this body, with this journey, and you must take it and make the most of it. Do not get jealous because of someone else’s ____ that is “goals.”
You are you. You have been given what you have for a reason. You are beautiful. Your relationship or future relationship is adorable. Your body is awesome. Your clothes look perfect on you. Make your goals for yourself, don’t base them off of someone else and get discouraged when they do not happen.
Each and every day I set goals for myself, whether it be eating better or doing well on a homework assignment or focusing on keeping God my focal point throughout the day, I have a goal. My goals are not getting the body that my roomie has(As gorgeous and fabulous as Hannah is), my goals are not to get 4.0 GPA, my goals are not to run 20 miles. My goals are fit for me, in hopes to better myself daily, in my faith, wellness, and lifestyle.
Do not set your goals above what you can reach. Gradually reach little goal by little goal, and soon you will find that reaching all of these little goals has become a huge goal. Then, find a person that will complete you and fulfill their goals alongside you, all while encouraging you to do the same... And take super cute pictures with them along the way.
Be proud of your relationship. Do not rely on other’s comments to make you happy or give you a sense of accomplishment. Do not strive to be someone else. You do not have to be an “MCM” or “WCW” to be beautiful. If someone makes you happy, it does not matter what others think. Instead of looking for popularity, look for love, trust, happiness, and Jesus Christ. When you find this, you will have reached your “goals,” and that is all that matters, I pinky promise.
Love always,
Mads ❤
P.S. Logan Morrison rocks, and because of him, I have met my goals.
