I’m going to Italy for the Spring semester and I cannot wait. This means that I’ve been at my college in the U.S. for the fall semester going about my business as usual and will be taking off in January. But, considering it’s my third year of college, I’m very used to the ways and routines I find myself in on campus. I have figured out where I belong for the most part. I have my friends, my classes, my favorite restaurants, my go-to bars. And although this is great and this is where I’m supposed to be, I can’t dismiss this growing feeling of unsettled angst within me, telling me that I need to to break away.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my school. I love how comfortable I feel here and how familiar everything is. I also love my friends. And maybe its just that weird time in the semester where we’ve all been together for a little too long but with every night ended too early or 8 a.m. class I feel more and more anxious to go abroad. I need a change of scenery; I need to discover other parts of the world and other parts of myself … away from the routine of college and away from the ease that comes with living in a bubble.
Is it weird to say that I am excited to be forced out of my comfort zone and be an outsider? I think that being an outsider is one of the best challenges we can offer ourselves. It forces us to become acquainted with ourselves enough to put ourselves out there, into a foreign world full of unfamiliar cultures and languages and traditions. It will be scary, but I would hope for nothing less. Sometimes we need to be scared to understand ourselves on a deeper level.
I know that going abroad is really not that scary considering 60 other girls from my school, many who I know, will be there but I know this is only the beginning. I hope that this will be the introduction into a whole new world of travel, exploration and independence that will hopefully prepare me for the start of a new chapter. Maybe this is a more individual hope of mine, but I am hoping that when I get on the plane to Europe, I will be starting a brand new chapter of my life. I am 20 years old now, and I’ll be turning 21 when I’m in Europe. I feel like my journey abroad will set the foundation for who I want to be in the upcoming years of my adulthood. I want to create experiences and memories that will impact who I am as a person. I don’t know what that will look like but I hope it’s someone I can be proud of and someone who is not afraid to chase what they want in life and put them selves out into the world without looking back.
If I can come back from Europe with a better understanding of just how scary and beautiful life can be outside of the bubble that is college, I know it will have been worth it.
