As you may have read in my last article, I am a rape victim. I was raped in August 2015, almost a year ago. I waited three months to turn Tyler in because he mentally abused me. If he didn’t play games with my mind, then I may have turned him in sooner.

When I turned Tyler in the detective looked uninterested. The look on the detectives face made me want to leave and never turn Tyler in. Also, almost a year later and after 3 cases against Tyler there is nothing being done. There are 3 separate girls, including me, who have no connection to each other that Tyler raped. There could be more for all I know. It breaks my heart that this happened to me, let alone anyone else.

Rape victims are terrified to come forward for a few reasons.

Embarrassment

Victims are embarrassed to say they were vulnerable and weak. They are embarrassed to be known as “the victim.” I know I don’t like being known as a victim, but it’s something we need to live with in order to make things right for us.

Fear

Most, if not all, victims are scared. They’re scared their rapist will come after them. They’re scared they might get hurt more, but possibly worse this time. I know I feared my safety for several months, and I still struggle at times.

Victims are scared their rapist will find them. I was scared Tyler would come to my house when he found out I turned him in. I was scared to see the new way people would look at me. I am still scared of going places alone and it’s been almost a year.

Victims are also scared they will be the accused. They are scared everyone will say the victim was dressed inappropriately, drank too much or asked for it by flirting too much. No matter what anyone tries to tell you, the rape was not your fault. Men and women should be able to dress how they please without the fear of being raped.

Lack of law enforcement

I hesitated to turn Tyler in because I had a gut feeling the law didn’t matter in my case. To an extent, I was correct. Due to the fact that I was terrified for my safety and that Tyler mentally and emotionally abused me I waited, this made the law harder to enforce. I’m happy I turned him in because there are now 3 cases against him. Just because the law doesn’t help you, it doesn’t mean it won’t save another’s life.

Reputation

Some victims fear their reputation will change or they do not want to hurt their rapists’ reputation. (If they by chance know their rapist.) Do not let your reputation get in the way of your health and stability. This is something you will live with for a very long time, possibly forever if you do not turn them in. If your reputation changes because you were protecting yourself, then so be it. Reputation isn’t everything.

This being said, do not criticize a victim for turning their rapist in or the fear to do so. To walk into that police station or campus police office takes a ton of courage and strength. I was lucky to have my parents and friends by my side while there are plenty of victims who have to face this battle alone.