When you make a big 'ol romantic gesture on the one day a year you’re literally supposed to be romantic, it takes a little something away from it. It just doesn’t seem genuine when you use a day that’s made for showing off your love as the one day to go all in. Maybe it’s because I’m a born and raised Jersey girl and take everything (literally everything) with a grain (read: mountain) of salt, but seriously, I find big Valentine’s day efforts cheesy and fake.

Flowers are nice, going out to dinner is nice, but do it on a day when you don’t feel obligated to do so. Give flowers to your girl randomly and I promise she’ll smile until the end of time. Tell her to be ready for 7 pm because you made a reservation on some random, unexpected night and I swear she'll appreciate it so much more than a V-Day reservation.

Don’t get me wrong, the hearts and flowers are cute and all, but I’ll take a Valentine’s Day with Chinese takeout and a long drive with good music or just hanging out every time over some extravagant date.

It’s just so, so much more intimate when you just spend time with your person without all the glitter and hearts. There are no expectations so you can’t be let down in any way. Yeah, sure, that sounds sad or whatever but I dare you to tell me you haven't been let down because you wanted some big date or a beautiful bouquet and your boy let you down.

And no, I’m not saying I like low key Valentine’s Day just to avoid being let down. I genuinely enjoy spending a normal night in with my guy eating a f*ck ton of food and goofing off, watching Netflix or having him try to teach me his favorite video game. I look forward to not looking at my phone every 30 seconds to check insta or twitter. I'd rather have a night that feels real than some staged romantic thing that lasts that one night.

That's why if you do some big date on a random day/night unrelated to Valentine's day, it would mean so much more. It would mean that you thought to show how much you care on a night that you're not pressured to do so by society.

Plus when you’re just so comfortable with someone that you are as excited for a night in or a casual date doing whatever you two to on the regular, it shows that you know each other and what you like to do. It shows you care and you want to actually spend time together and love each other’s presence no matter what you’re doing.

It means you don’t just want to post something romantic to show off.

So instead of expecting a huge date or expensive gifts, just relax and enjoy your person. Showing off how much your bf/gf spent on you doesn’t equal how much they care about you. So stop looking for social media’s approval of your holiday and spend it however the f*ck you actually want to. My suggestion? Get your favorite fast food (mine's Chinese) and go for a long ass drive and talk. Blast your favorite music, jam to classics, laugh until you cry, and remember why you're with that person that makes you that incredibly happy.