As an American, I have many freedoms and rights to which I’m entitled to by living in this country. Thankfully, one of these freedoms is the right to choose whether or not to vaccinate my children and myself. For years there has been a large movement to vaccinate in order to prevent deadly diseases. Many people will try to tell you to get vaccinated or to vaccinate your children, but I’m here to tell you why you shouldn’t listen to them.

If you’re like me, you probably put a lot of time and effort into doing research before making an important decision about your health or the health of your children. It took countless hours of scrolling through Facebook and looking at a variety of memes before I decided to become anti-vax. And believe me, it was not an easy choice to make. I was very tempted by the promise of eradicating and providing immunity to the most deadly diseases known to man. But I couldn’t be tricked! I haven’t heard about any cases of small pox or measles in America, so why should I get vaccinated for them?

Even if those diseases were around, natural immunity is better than vaccine-acquired immunity. Why inject yourself with the disease if you can just become infected with it naturally. Vaccines are made using the diseases they are trying to prevent, so I don’t see how this is any different than just contracting the disease itself. Besides, I heard having polio isn’t that bad. And I’m pretty sure it beats having a huge needle shoved into your arm.

Another reason you should be anti-vax is because I heard it causes autism. A researcher from the UK proved this to be true in his study that used made up data and experiments that couldn’t be replicated. A lot of people don’t agree with his study and even call him a fraud, but I’m pretty sure it’s just doctors and pharmacists spreading lies like always, which also leads me to my next point.

Never… I repeat. Never, take advice about vaccinations from your doctor or pharmacist. They are evil and nasty people who think that 8+ years of medical experience is enough to tell me how to live my life. I and I alone know what is best for me, which is why I usually don’t take my doctor’s advice, especially when it comes to vaccines. And how dare they try to profit off my well-being and health by forcing me to be injected with something that could save my life!

My parents made the disgusting decision to vaccinate me as a child. While this is something I will never forgive them for, there is nothing I can do about it. I never had the choice, which is why I decided to be an advocate for others who didn’t have the choice as a child.

If you haven’t caught on by now, this article was meant to be satirical. You should always take your doctor’s advice, especially when it comes to vaccinations. Remember, getting vaccinated isn’t just about the well-being of yourself or your children, it also affects everyone around you. Vaccinations won’t work if only a few people get them, so please be smart and get vaccinated.