I have been thinking of writing this article for over a year now, and I haven't found the courage to do so. But I have seen across the internet articles and videos related to this topic and it was a very liberating experience being able to relate to other people on this issue. Before I go into my article, I want to make a few disclaimers. One, I have no hard feelings about greek life, my personal sorority, the people in my sorority, and any event that occurred while I was in my sorority. Second, I am not in any way shape or form generalizing greek life and putting a bad rep on it. If anything, I admire greek life's ability to contribute to non-profit organizations and make networking easier in college. However, the greek system does have flaws, just as any other organization, and it's important to recognize this. So with that, here we go.

In high school I faced a lot of social anxiety. It was hard for me to branch out and make friends. After joining a dance team, I was able to finally formalize my little clique. I was extremely happy in this point of my life. I was doing what I love to do, and making lifelong friendships along the way. During graduation, while everyone was throwing their caps in the air in ecstasy, I desperately clung to mine, tears rolling down my face. I was in no way, shape, or form ready to give up my team. I was scared to branch out into the real world.

Fast forward to that fall, I was seventeen years old and walking across the giant campus at the University of Houston; confused, lost, and still upset that I wasn't in high school anymore. While walking across campus, I discovered a group of cheery, nice looking girls with bright t-shirts on. They approached me and gave me a flyer for rush week. Having no background on the subject, I signed up online and committed to rushing.

I will not disclose the sorority that I rushed and spent three years of my life in, however, my first impression of the house was unexplainable. I was surrounded by mature, beautiful women that were so put together, something I inspired to be. Every single soul I talked to that week were warm and welcoming, yet they convinced me this was a place I could grow. I had never felt so accepted and as they say "at home". When I received my bid, I couldn't explain the overwhelming sensation that had come over me. I felt loved, accepted, and more ready than ever to have the best college experience of my life.

And at first, I did. The most life changing experience for me was receiving my big sister. Being an only child, I never had a figure that looked over me like she did. She was beautiful, smart, caring, and probably one of the most amazing people I had ever encountered in my life. I wanted to be just like her. She helped me grow, she steered me away from frat boys and kept me focused on my studies. I still to this day will admire her in every way. I also gained a beautiful little sister, who I was able to help grow and advise through her first year in college. I love her to death, and I am very thankful to have experienced that in my life.

The first year was so fun and exciting. I went out a lot more than I should have, but I had made so many genuine, or what I had thought, relationships that were always there for me. Towards the end of the year things had gotten harder for me. There was an application that was popular at the time called Yik Yak, where people would anonymously write things about other people and it went viral. Unfortunately, somehow, I was a target and I experienced a lot of harassing messages being passed around about me, saying things such as I was ugly, I was a skank, etc. I was mortified, scared, and I became depressed.

This was the first sign for me that something wasn't right. I didn't get the support from my sisters that I had hoped for. I even felt laughed at, humiliated, by some of my own close friends. I considered dropping at this point, even out of school. I felt alone, and that nobody understood my side of the situation. It was a terrible position to be in.

However, things began to look up. I had two extremely close friends at the time and I had entered into a serious relationship. Everything was fine. We eventually broke up, and then the ugly side came out of me. I felt like it was okay to go off the deep end, to party every night, get wasted at events, and completely let myself go. I didn't recognize myself. In no way shape or form do I blame this on my sorority, or anyone in my life, but I felt like I didn't have the right relationships that led me to go that far. I had bad influences all around me, and I let it affect me.

Eventually, I moved back home to get my life together and that's when I realized this lifestyle wasn't for me anymore. I got extremely into fitness, and bettering my life. I came back the next semester, and everything was different. I began to go to events less, because I didn't want to be the person I was prior, and when I did go, I felt like I was sitting with a bunch strangers. I didn't feel comfortable to confide in anyone about my life. Nobody wondered what happened to me, where I was. I would walk into rooms and feel my name being said and talked about. I didn't feel the desire to go out and party anymore, and I felt like that put me at a disadvantage. I would try to reach out, but I felt pathetic. It was useless. The friendships I had formed prior wouldn't even look in my direction. Then one day, I went to meeting, just like every other meeting. One of the members said to me "Are you like dropping or..?" and that's when I realized, am I even "wanted" here? I always loved my house because I felt like I had a place, somewhere that was my own. But what if I left and never came back? Would I have impacted people? So that's what I did. To this day, nobody from my sorority has reached out to me to see what happened.

So what really went wrong? Why did I drop? Something that I find a common theme with amongst people who have dropped is that they didn't agree with the ideals or lifestyles of their sorority. Yes, that was true for me to some extent. I felt like if I couldn't relate to a group of 50 strangers in every aspect of life, it made me an outsider. Something I failed to mention, and another reason I personally decided to drop, was the "superiority" of houses. My house liked to claim it was better than others. During rush, they decided to give bids based on if a girl was pretty. Being the top house makes you the top girl, right? I never understood that. I met beautiful greek and non greek houses that in my opinion impacted my life more than any of the pretty girls in the house. Also, paying for your friends, as bad is it sounds, is an accurate representation of a sorority. You aren't going to be friends with 50 girls. Heck, at the end, I felt like if I didn't pay to be there I would have maybe one or two friendships. There isn't a common bond, like the dance team I experienced in high school, that binds them together. The lifestyle of a sorority girl isn't for everyone, and that's okay. It's not for everyone, and the people that it works for, it can be a beautiful thing.

Dropping my sorority has been an extremely liberating experience for me. I do thank my sorority for helping me grow as a woman and providing me with tools on self confidence and believing in myself and my future. But the relationships I have formed since have been more rewarding than any experience I had encountered in that house. I have since transferred schools and joined a dance team that is full of girls that I love and genuinely appreciate. It's true, college is such a pivotal point in someone's life. You will experience friendships, relationships, heartbreak, betrayal, and that's what shapes the rest of your life.