If you are over the age of 30 I want you to think about the last time you asked a young adult what their plans are for the future. Do you remember their response? Can you recall the look on their face? Were they hesitant? Nervous? Did they make a joke, or answer with unwavering conviction? Perhaps they delivered an eloquent speech on how they are pursuing their dream to become a novelist, a doctor, or a teacher. Maybe they decided to forgo college to join the military or apprentice in a trade. Now, can you remember your own reaction?

Did you tell them they were making the right choice? Ask them what college they are attending? If they had a significant other, or whether they were considering having children? Most importantly, did you tell them these are the best years of their life and then proceed to inform them of how essential it is to make the most of them? You know, common, harmless advice from someone who has no idea what it is like to grow up in the twenty-first century.

If you did, then congratulations, you reminded them of every aspect of their life that they are struggling in. You resurfaced every fear and doubt they have been suppressing as they try to figure out what exactly makes them happy. Single-handedly, you forced them to re-evaluate each decision they have made that led them to their current point in life. You are the reason we, as young adults, are so overwhelmed by the thought of growing up.

The idea that young adult years are the best of your life is not exactly a new concept. However, in today’s society the statement has become a burden to those who have yet to find their happiness. In the past 13 years there has been a 20 percent growth in college enrollment among 18 to 24 year-olds, a trend that was not as significant prior to the 2000’s. The fact of the matter is, more young adults are feeling pressured to attend college after high school and potentially finding themselves unprepared or unhappy. Or, if they choose to go into the workforce they are constantly told they need a degree to make any money, causing them to doubt their decision.

Instead of focusing on our own happiness we are spending hours upon hours studying or working while trying to have fun because we are being told we need to enjoy our youth. We are being pulled in thousands of directions and spreading ourselves too thin. Our futures are for us to discover when we are ready, let us figure out our own life on our own terms. We do not need to hear about what you had already accomplished when you were our age because it is no longer relevant or attainable. So the next time you find yourself questioning a young adult, rather than asking them about their college major, or whether their current job is temporary or permanent, please take a moment to realize how hard it is for us to tell you about a future we have not yet discovered.