To some, the title of this article may make them cringe. Some people really want marriage, kids, the whole shebang, but what if you don't want that life? Personally, I am tired of having to explain marriage and kids are not a priority in my life, and the more I think about it and get older not a goal at all. This is not to say that if I meet the right person that I will not get married but frankly it's not something I'm ultimately looking forward to. I don't get why me not wanting that aspect, has sparked many arguments and frustrations with family and friends. I feel like if my goals are high, aspects/ jobs I can grow in, and goals that make me better than I should be supported.
Almost every time I say something like "I'm not sure if I really want kids" or "I don't think I want to settle down" I always get eye rolls and questions like "why?" or "Your'e kidding right?!" As if I cannot actually just want to be marriage-less. People see it as i'm young and dumb, do not know what I want, or that I'm just confused. I don't hate the idea of marriage and children but I won't lie and say the idea excites me. It is never been something I have really dreamed of.
The part that makes me so frustrated is that people assume I have no dreams or goals just because I do not particularly want a husband and a child. I have a lot of goals, long-term, short-term, big and small. While people dream of big rings and small humans, I dream of big travels and small businesses. I want to have a great job, and I want to move around. I am not saying that settling down means you don't get to have those things, but I do think it hinders those dreams a little. There is always someone else you have to grow through.
Not to mention, it is extremely frustrating to hear when people say "You can't marry your work, you'll regret it." PEOPLE. It is okay if I make a few mistakes in my life as long as I lean from them, because here is the thing, it's my life. I do not concern myself with worrying about the people who want to have marriage and kids as an ultimate goal. So, if I want to have work as my husband so be it, If I am happy let me be.
The other problem I have is that it's called "settling down". What if I don't want to settle? What if I don't want to calm down? Why is that so looked down upon? I want to keep moving, changing, and growing, and while this can be down with a companion why does it have to be? People constantly question as why I would a life without it and it's simply because I am okay seeing a life without it.
In a world that is constantly changing, and becoming more accepting it would be nice to feel like I can have dreams that are not so looked down upon. It is not that I am opposed to marriage and a family but it is not something I am striving for. I enjoy the independence and the fact that I still have family at home when I need them. I have friends constantly around and I'm happy.
So that's why I do not have marriage and kids as an ultimate goal, and why it is completely okay.
