You see a couple walking down the street, smiling, holding hands, and keeping an eye on their kids, who are running down the block. You watch this family go on with their everyday life and hold on to that glimpse of hope that you never had. When you are at your best friends house, You get angry when you see them turning their backs away from their parents, who only want to spend with them. After all, you believe that the little things in life are something that most people take for granted. Sometimes, you wish you had a different life. Other times, you wish you had different parents. This is because you grew up with a broken family.
You grew up with pain, but you grew up strong. Stronger than most people nowadays. You matured at a young age because you were forced too. You often get overwhelmed when people ask you about your parents, and you have built up a summary of what your life was like. As you have your story memorized from all the times you had to tell it, the only thing you have ever received was pity. Although sometimes you wish that things were different, deep down you are secretly grateful for the way God made your life, because it made you into the person you are today. You are not broken. But you have received certain traits because of the brokenness of your past.
1. You learned to be independent
The only person you could truly rely on was yourself. Reality hit at a young age as you saw life beating down your parents. As their relationship started to diminish, you found yourself stuck in a never-ending battle. Because of this, you built a thick wall around yourself to protect you. Depending on others for your happiness was not an option. You learned a lot about yourself and the real world because you grew up before you were ready to.
2. You have placed high pressure on yourself
Not only do you want to see yourself succeed, you want your parents to also. You want to make them proud and show the world that there is more to you than your past. However, you tend to be too hard on yourself while trying to reach your goal. You criticize small things you do because you fear disappointment and you fear failure. Although you blame a lot own yourself (because it is easier to), it is important to be reminded that you are not always at fault.
3. You became a "people pleaser"
Because you know what depression feels like, you want to prevent other from going through the same thing. When you feel empathy towards someone, you feel it strong. You will do anything in your power, even if that means destroying yourself, in order to bring happiness to others. That fake smile that you have been working on for years is always worn when you are around people.
4. You learned to love
It tore you to pieces to see your parents' relationship fall apart. Because of their pain, you put up a shield of protection. A strong one. You let people in, but not to the point where they see your vulnerability. Although it takes a lot to break down your wall and earn your trust, it will be worth it in the end. Because when you love, you will love unconditionally. You will fight with everything you got to make your relationship work. You have seen what a failed relationship looked like, and you will give 100% effort to prevent one.
5. Lastly, you learn to be grateful
Life is tough. However, when you suffer through the hard times, it makes the good moments even better. You thank God for everything you have, because you know there are people out there who have it worse. You're grateful for every sunny morning and every starry night, because it means you're alive another day. You're grateful that you have come this far on your own and that you see the world as a place of opportunities rather than something that is out to get you. Finally, you are grateful for your parents, because although they were not perfect, they made you into the strong person you are today.
